“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"
Forgive!!! I know from experience it is NOT easy to forgive people who hurt you but God will help you like He helped me and STILL helping me!!! I know, again from personal experience, people are SOMETHING ELSE but don't allow their actions to hinder you from your destiny!!!! Unforgiveness will hinder you if YOU allow it to; you have to forgive people!!! Jesus lets us know if we don't forgive others their trespasses, God will not forgive us!!! We are forgiving because God says to forgive; it is our act of obedience to God - forgiveness has nothing to do with others but it causes us to obey God and to become whole!!! People will be people and when God reveals to you the type of person a person in your circle is, it is your choice to keep them in your circle or let them go in love; let God lead you before getting entangled with people!!!
Even if the person is saying they are a Christian that does not mean anything; does that person believe the Word as you do or do they have their own belief system? The Bible asks a question, "How can two walk together unless they are agreed?" No, they cannot!! I say this still in reference to forgiving; if you know a person has a reputation of hurting people and abusing people, why put them in your circle? I have learned to let God lead me in friendships and everything else because my destiny is too great to be hindered by unforgiveness!!! Your destiny is also too great to to allow people to cause you to harbor unforgiveness which leads to bitterness setting up in your heart!!! It is not worth it!!!!
I would rather be by myself than to have people in my life who are going to cause me grief to the point of doing something that cause me to constantly struggle with forgiving them!!! This is no joke!! Going through the process of forgiving someone is not an easy task because that seed they have planted in you has to be dug out by God and it is not always a smooth process!!!
Unforgiveness starts with you making up your mind to forgive the person who offended you, then with you asking God to help you because nine out of ten times, that same person is going to keep doing something to offend you (because they are NOT delivered and is not thinking about being delivered - they don't think nothing is wrong with them) and you already dealing with the first thing they did wrong to you, now you got another, etc. OH PLEASE!!! If YOU don't stop it, you will get this vicious cycle of being abused (it is a form of abuse) by this person you don't want to cut loose!!! I have learned people can only do as much to you as YOU allow them too!!!
Yes, you love everybody but everybody cannot be in your inner circle of friends!!! God has been teaching me that for years and I am just learning it after going through years, and years, and years of being hurt and abused by people - most of them were by "christians!!!!"; that is why I am telling you this to spare you!! Be led by God and you will not go wrong!!! Ask God to give you that heart that easily forgives because in this crazy, mixed up world, you definitely going to need it!!!!
You can do something to help yourself, to prevent from getting into these crazy friendship, relationships, etc., DISCERN, DISCERN, DISCERN AND DISCERN SOME MORE!!!!!! Listen to the Holy Spirit!!! Another thing, don't put YOUR happiness in the hands of a human being; no man or woman can make you happy!!! Happiness comes from the inside of you and begins with the joy of the Lord!!!! The JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH; not the joy of Jack or Jill!!! Stop relying on people to make you happy and to satisfy you!!! There are certain things people are incapable of doing because they are fallible; that is why it is so important to be a whole person - to walk in the wholeness Jesus has died to give us!!! I am still talking about preventing unforgiveness from setting up in our hearts!!
IF we do not look to people to give us what ONLY God can give, we will be less of a target to people who prey on needy people!!! When we become a prey to unscrupulous people, we get offended, hurt, and unforiveness sets in, and if we don't get rid of it, the principality of bitterness takes root in our hearts!! NO FRIENDSHIP OR RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND IS WORTH THIS; don't be so desperate for friendships or relationship that you will allow yourself to be continuously hurt or abused!!!!
God loves us and wants to see us walking in the liberty of Christ and He will help us but what we can do, let's do, and stop putting the responsibility for our lives onto other people; looking for them to make us happy; looking for them to do this or that for us; then when they cannot or will not meet our expectations, we get offended, hurt, angry, etc. at them (this is the flip side of the unforgiveness coin - this is the side where WE becomes offended and holds unforgiveness against the person because OUR needs were not met)!!! People are INCAPABLE of meeting ALL our needs; ONLY God can do that and God is NOT going to give us 100% of the things we ask for!!! Come on now; let's be reasonable!!!!!
Search your heart and see who you need to forgive and decide to forgive them and you keep deciding until it is done; ask God to help you - He will but you first must make a conscious decision to forgive!!! Again, on the other side of the coin, also, search yourself and see who YOU need to ask to forgive you!! Sometimes we have hurt others with our words or actions and need to go back to the person and ask them to forgive us; but we can only do this if we have a forgiving heart, a heart that is open to God so He can speak to us to get things right with people!! I know I have wondered, "How can some people not know they hurt me"? How? Because their heart is not opened to God; some people will never give you an apology because they feel like they did or said nothing wrong - those people you chalk up and swallow hard and ask God to help you forgive them anyway. Just recently I had to do that because a person who I know said some hurtful words about me to someone else and act as if it was nothing; I had to swallow hard and I cried, literally, to God to help me to forgive them and I still am before God with this - forgiveness is not easy but it can be done!!! I know none of us are perfect but that is no excuse to deliberately hurt and use people!!! I am just sharing with you what I feel God wants me to share!!! I by no means have it all together but I write and encourage others with my experiences as God leads and I tell you the truth as God gives it to me!!
I know how it feels to hurt and abuse and have to forgive the person; I know the pain you struggle with, been there, had that pain, and still go through it all the time!!! But God has given me a ministry to help people who struggle with unforgiveness; there is nothing I write about that I do not experience for myself - NOTHING!!! EVERYTHING, EVERY message God gives me, I have experienced it and not in an easy way!!! I am not going to lie to you and say forgiving people is easy; IT IS NOT!! But if you want to do the right thing and obey God's Word then He will help you to forgive!!! Old hurts in our hearts must be dug out by God before we can heal; we can hide them for only so long and they will resurface. Why not allow God to operate on you today so you can get those hurts out and walk in total forgiveness; go to God with your struggles of forgiving people and He will help you; He understands you and people!! Think about your destiny and put people in God's hand!!
Remember, forgiveness is NOT a feeling, it is a choice!!!! Deal with each case of unforgiveness individually; call each person out by name and forgive them in a time of prayer before God; then listen to the Holy Spirit speak to you concerning those people - sometimes He might not say anything and other times Holy Spirit might tell you to go and apologize to the person (even if the person hurt you and you feel you did nothing wrong - I have had that to happen to me, I had to go apologize to this person who embarrassed me in public - now that was a hard oneJ) I am like "God she started it and she hurt me" God said "God apologize!!" I obeyed and went to her and apologize and to my surprise, I meant it from my heartJ). So whatever God tells you to do or say, do it!
I am including the link below just in case you would like to complete my "Abused Woman Ministries Importance of Forgiveness Recovery Program" (it is the one that started May 28, 2013 and is free - all sessions are listed on my blog site - www.abusedwoman.ning.com), I am enclosing a Forgiveness Affidavit and Prayer to pray against unforgiveness - will explain it, and the link to Part 1 of "A Heart That Forgives" in case you did not read it:
I pray that God will give you'll the strength to forgive who you need to forgive. Remember, forgiveness forgiving a person does not mean you go back in the relationship and pretend the person did not hurt you; it means you free yourself, your heart from any ill feelings about the person and let God deal with he/she. If you go back in the relationship and the person is not delivered, you will have to forgive them over and over and over; why put yourself through this-you will wear yourself out!! Just be led by God in ALL relationships!!!
Forgive and live!!! Shake off the bondage of unforgiveness once all!!!
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
“A Heart That Forgives” by Kevin LeVar (Video) http://youtu.be/indCvnD4Ji4
Prayer Against Unforgiveness
The Forgiveness Affidavit
Make the list of all the people who have hurt you, including yourself, and pray the prayer on the last page to release that person or persons and yourself from unforgiveness; these are people you want to forgive - pray the prayer for each person on the list. In doing this you will become free of the unforgiveness and all shame, guilt, self-condemnation, regret, and sorrow associated with it.
UNFORGIVENESS TOWARDS (PERSON NAME):
Prayer Against Unforgiveness
In the name of Jesus, and as an act of my free will, I purpose and choose to forgive (the person) from my heart for (what they did).
In the name of the Lord Jesus, I cancel all (the person's) debts or obligations to me. Lord Jesus, forgive me for my bitterness towards (the person).
In the name of Jesus, I break and cancel Satan's power over me in this memory, and the resulting pain. I hate the devil.
In the name of Jesus, I command that all the tormentors that have been assigned to me because of my unforgiveness to leave me now. In the name of Jesus, I command the bitterness to go.
Holy Spirit, I am asking that You heal my heart of this pain and hurt and reveal to me God’s truth in this situation, in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Goal is for deliverance; so take time to pray this prayer for each person you need to forgive - including yourself and God!! If an issue returns, deal with issue then; do not allow it to arise take control of you!! Praying through the issues may take longer than one time or two or even three times. You pray until you get a release in your spirit from this unforgiveness; and you will know it - if you see the person, hear their name, or even see their name on paper and have a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach or any kind of feeling inside of you, you are NOT free of them - go back and pray the prayer again!! When you are free, you will have peace around them and then can love them with the love of God!!!!
This "Forgiveness Affidavit" and "Prayer Against Unforgiveness" is from Dr. Art Mathias’ book “Biblical Foundations of Freedom Destroying Satan’s Lies With God’s Truth"- Dr. Mathias has given me permission to use this material. Dr. Mathias’ information:
Wellspring Ministries of Alaska
2511 Sentry Drive
Anchorage, Alaska 99507
Web Site: www.akwellspring.com
Copyright © August 2005 Wellspring Ministries of Alaska
2005 Edition of Biblical Foundations of Freedom
NOTE: These materials are copyright protected therefore you must request permission to reproduce any part of this material. To request permission, please contact Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks: firstname.lastname@example.org.