“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"
III. Toxic Emotions: Rejection - Session 16 - Part E
1. What is Rejection? - Feeling rejected is one of the most devastating of all human emotions, and it is usually ill-founded. But we can't defeat rejection if we have given bitterness, jealousy and envy a place in our lives. It's impossible, because bitterness is the root of all the unloving spirits that accuse us with rejection. To have freedom from rejection, we must have freedom from bitterness.
The dictionary defines "rejection," "to cast off, to rebuff or repulse. To throw away as useless or unsatisfactory. To put aside. To disapprove."
Rejection consists of several major aspects: Rejection tells us we are unwanted, put aside and refused. It's a feeling of being unloved and not accepted either as a member of a group, by a friend or sometimes, even by the human race. Rejection places a wall around us that repels acceptance even when offered.
Rejection reminds us of our desperate need to be loved and, at the same time, we're convinced we're unloved. This causes emotional torment. Rejection drives love from us, and drives us from love. Even when someone does love us, we still feel rejected. "You’re just saying that. I know better. You don't really love me. You only like what I can do for you."
III. Toxic Emotions: Rejection - Session 16 - Part E-1
1. The Roots of Rejection – Session 16 – Part E-1
The roots of rejection are a tangled mess with four identifiable causes:
a. First, is the fear of rejection. Rejection by itself is tough enough, but when coupled with the fear rejection, it becomes even more powerful. The fear itself produces more rejection. Compare faith to fear. Faith is the substance of things hoped for (Hebrews 11:1). Fear is the substance of things not hoped for. Faith says the eventual outcome of events will be for the better. Fear says all things happen for our detriment (Job 3:25). The fear of rejection immobilizes us, preventing us from venturing out. We feel rejected even though we've done nothing at all except thought about being rejected. We withdraw into a shell.
b. Second, is self-rejection. Self-rejection tells you that even you know you don't measure up. Perhaps we learned this as a child. "You will never amount to anything." We heard a lie, and believed it. The lie became self-rejection. Self-rejection often results in an intense and sometimes irrational drive to succeed. There is a need to prove to our parents, the world and ourselves that we are valuable and useful. But rejection is never satisfied, and if being accepted becomes our focus, we are driven deeper into the pit of self-rejection. We will never be good enough to satisfy rejection. If we grew up in a home without unconditional love and acceptance, and were treated as someone with very little value, we may well experience rejection and self-rejection even as adults.
c. The third aspect is rejecting others. We habitually reject others first, before they reject us. In this way, we protect ourselves from the hurt of future rejection. We fear becoming vulnerable and transparent with others, and we have a hard time trusting anyone. All of this sets off a chain reaction in our relationships that continues a vicious circle of rejection. Once we learn to be free from rejection, we can also become vulnerable without fear.
d. The fourth aspect is the desire for rejection. This is the most perverse result of rejection. We actually set ourselves up for rejection by treating others poorly or with indifference. In reality, we are seeking rejection from them. Being rejected allows us to continue dodging the real spiritual issues that hinder our freedom. As a result, when rejection occurs, it reinforces our lack of self-worth, and lack of identity. This feeds our belief that we are unworthy. Rejection becomes a self- fulfilling prophecy.
III. Toxic Emotions: Rejection - Session 16 - Part E-2
3. Walls of Rejection: The following diagram is called the "Walls of Rejection." We suggest that you pray through each of the four walls or roots of rejection, repenting for allowing them into your life and repenting for this sin in your generation. We also suggest that you ask God to seal your ears from hearing rejection; your eyes from seeing rejection; your mind from perceiving rejection; and your mouth from speaking rejection.
Breaking Down The Walls of Rejection
Note: Goal is for deliverance; not speeding through the prayers. If an issue return, deal with them as they arise not let them control you again. Praying through the issues may take longer than one session or two or even three sessions; keep praying for results!
God bless you all,
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks