Recovery For Abused Women

“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"

I don’t care what, trust God only to be there for you in your time of need – He is our very present help in times of trouble (Ps. 46:1)!!! Don’t overlook God when you are going through the storm and go to man; man CANNOT help youman CANNOT do no more for you than God allow!! When I say “man cannot help you” I am not saying don’t go to your friends to talk but I am saying don’t put all your trust in your friends; they can’t be with you all the time or they might can’t answer when you call them but God can – God is with you 24/7/365 days a year – every minute, every second, every hour of the day!! If you put all your trust in your friends and you can’t reach them when you need them, you will be disappointed and depressed!! And if they are available, that does not mean they will or is able to help you!! God is the One who touch the heart of a man so he or she can help you!!

Even if you are married, you are still an individual! Don’t depend on your husband or wife for every single thing either; they cannot make you whole from your brokenness – only God can!! Yes, you love your husband/wife and do what you are supposed to do according to the Word of God but don’t make them your god!!

I am telling you this because it can happen; it happened to me with the last guy I married – I made him my god. I was so wrapped up in him until nothing and nobody mattered; I allowed him to separate me from friends, family, and yes, even God! But that is what an abuser (sociopath, predator) does; he or she will “sweep you off your feet” (tell you a bunch of malarkey so you can get sucked in to their web) so he or she can isolate you to themselves – they will then abuse you and make sure you stay away from others because they don’t want you to tell anyone about the abuse. Sometimes, the abuse can start before the marriage so make sure you know the signs of abuse and whether or not you are dating a sociopath! In my case, I was married to a sociopath and a pathological liar; God revealed it to me.

I had made that guy my world; he was everything to me and I catered to him – as I said before, he did not work and I took care of him – I paid all the bills. Women, don’t do that! Men look at you in a demeaning way when you do and it causes them to have no respect for you, as I stated before – if they are an abuser, they will abuse you even more. I was so wrapped up into him that I was blind to the fact that he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing! Therefore, I beseech you don’t allow this to happen to you!! DON’T DO IT!!!    

(SIDENOTE: When you get married, you need to be whole so you can have a healthy relationship; otherwise, you will have problems if you enter in a marriage carrying a bunch of garbage and issues from previous relationships that are not resolved! Make sure that God has healed you BEFORE you get into a relationship or marriage – click here for my message “After The Abuse: What To Do BEFORE Going Into Another Relationship”!!!).

I thank God for loving me and bringing me out of the bondage of domestic violence!! I know God has forgiven me for turning my back on Him and disobeying Him – marrying that guy when He told me not to.

Again, I could have lost my life for disobeying God as so many did in the Old Testament. I thank God that we are under grace and truth today because of Jesus paying the debt we should have paid as sinners! If we make the wrong decision, Jesus is our Advocate; He sits on the right hand of the Father making intercession for us (Rom 8:34) and don’t forget the Holy Spirit who also plays many vital parts in our lives; the Holy Spirit also makes intercession for us as I said before, He prays through us to the Father when we do not know what to pray (Rom 8:36)!

There were many opportunities in that last marriage for me to lose my life, as I stated before; I thank God for protecting me! I am telling you today, don’t have any substitutes for God; don’t let the devil make you think there are any! There are NO substitutes for God and what God can do for you!! There is NOBODY who is going to or CAN do you like Jesus; there is NOBODY who is going to or CAN comfort you and like the Holy Spirit and fill you with the peace of God! NOBODY!!! There is NOBODY who is going to or CAN pick you up and turn your life around – give you a new life but God!! God gives us chance after chance because of His love and mercy for us!! There is NOBODY that can deliver you out of bondage but God!

God gave me a message a couple of months ago titled “Shift Your Focus” which talked about shifting your focus to what really is going to matter in the end; in these last and evil days, we better shift our focus to God and do not get distracted by things we can see or feel – these things are only temporary but God and EVERYTHING attached to Him is eternal!!! It is NOT worth gaining the whole world and losing your soul for the simple pleasures which last only a moment (Mark 8:36)!! The pleasures we experience in this life are only for a moment; this is what Solomon said about pleasures after he tested pleasures to see if they could give him inner fulfillment in Ecclesiastes 2:1-11:

1I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. “Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?” I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.

I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
    I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
    and this was the reward for all my toil.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun.

None of the things Solomon tested satisfied him – they did not give him inner fulfillment. Why? Because ONLY God can give us inner fulfillment;
there is NO substitute for God – I cannot say that enough! God invites us into His joy and His fulfillment; He invites does who are thirsty to come to the waters (Isa. 55:1-2, 6) – come to Jesus who is the Living water and we will NEVER thirst again as He told the woman at the well!  

God promises us in Ps 37:4 that if we delight ourselves in Him, then He will give us the desires of our heart!! In order to delight ourselves in the Lord, we first must seek Him and His righteousness (Matt 6:33)! When we are not delighting ourselves in the Lord, we will try to fill that emptiness inside of us with things, people, sex, alcohol, drugs, etc. However, we are marking time and getting nowhere because NOTHING is going to give us the inner fulfillment we need but the joy of the Lord! The joy of the Lord comes when we are baptized with the Holy Spirit – we must allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit to operate through us (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – Gal 5:22-23). We must love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind and love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:37-39).

 

Click here for PDF version of Part 2

 

May God continually bless you!

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks

 

These materials are copyright protected therefore you must request permission to reproduce any part of them. To request permission, contact: Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks: dehooks@abusedwoman.org.

 

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