Domestic Violence Series for September 17, 2020 Session 13, "Red Flags of Abuse" (Part 2A)

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

Domestic Violence Series (Part 2)

Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse: Continued

E. Red Flags Of Abuse – (Part 2A)

You may be involved with a perpetrator if any of the following "red flags" exist in the relationship:

• Quick involvement- the perpetrator pushes for a commitment or major event to occur very early in the relationship.
• Isolation -the perpetrator begins asking you to spend less time with your friends and family and more time with him. You end up no longer maintaining close relationships with friends or family members.
• Suggestions for change- the perpetrator has lots of suggestions on how you can improve your appearance, behavior etc. You begin to make changes solely based on these suggestions.
• Controlling behaviors- the perpetrator influences your decisions on hobbies, activities, dress, friends, daily routines etc. You begin to make fewer and fewer decisions without the perpetrator's opinion or influence.
• Information gathering and pop-ins - the perpetrator wants to know the specific details of your day and rarely leaves you alone when you are not with him, such as when you are at work or out with friends.
• Any forms of abuse - the perpetrator may use name calling, intimidation, humiliation, shoving, pushing or other forms of abuse to get you to do whatever they want you to do.

These red flags may indicate that you are involved with a perpetrator of domestic violence. These red flags may occur early in the relationship and be explained by the perpetrator as caring or loving behaviors such as "I just check on you because I miss you" or "I just want what is best for you" or "I just want us to work on our relationship and spend more time together." Reference for these sections: http://www.acadv.org/abusers.html.

VI. Getting help for domestic violence or abuse

Women don’t have to live in fear:

In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247. Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010. Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732. Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agenciesfor a global list of helplines and crisis centers.

Male victims of abuse can call:

• U.S. and Canada: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women
• UK: ManKind Initiative
• Australia: One in Three Campaign

In an emergency:

Call 911 or your country’s emergency service number if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.

For a safe place to stay:

In the US: visit Womenslaw.org for a state-by-state directory of domestic violence shelters. Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of shelters.

Click here for PDF version of DV Series S13, Sept 17, 2020

Click below for previous sessions:

PDF Version of DV Series S1, June 25, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S2, July 2, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S3, July 9, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S4, July 16, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S5, July 23, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S6, July 30, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S7, August 6, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S8, August 13, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S9, August 20, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S10, August 27, 2020

PDF Version of DV Series S11, Sept 3, 2020

PDF version of DV Series S12, Sept 10, 2020

Next section posted will be “Domestic Violence Series” – Section VII – Part 2A “Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse” – “Barriers to Leaving” on Thursday, September 24th.

Shalom,

Dr. Hooks