Recovery For Abused Women

“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"

Domestic Violence Series for July 12, 2012 "Red Flags of Abuse"

Domestic Violence Series (Part 2)

Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse: Continued

E. Red Flags Of Abuse – (Part 2A)

You may be involved with a perpetrator if any of the following "red flags" exist in the relationship:

  • Quick involvement- the perpetrator pushes for a commitment or major event to occur very early in the relationship.
  • Isolation -the perpetrator begins asking you to spend less time with your friends and family and more time with him. You end up no longer maintaining close relationships with friends or family members.
  • Suggestions for change- the perpetrator has lots of suggestions on how you can improve your appearance, behavior etc. You begin to make changes solely based on these suggestions.
  • Controlling behaviors- the perpetrator influences your decisions on hobbies, activities, dress, friends, daily routines etc. You begin to make fewer and fewer decisions without the perpetrator's opinion or influence.
  • Information gathering and pop-ins - the perpetrator wants to know the specific details of your day and rarely leaves you alone when you are not with him, such as when you are at work or out with friends.
  • Any forms of abuse - the perpetrator may use name calling, intimidation, humiliation, shoving, pushing or other forms of abuse to get you to do whatever they want you to do.

These red flags may indicate that you are involved with a perpetrator of domestic violence. These red flags may occur early in the relationship and be explained by the perpetrator as caring or loving behaviors such as "I just check on you because I miss you" or "I just want what is best for you" or "I just want us to work on our relationship and spend more time together." Reference for these sections:

VI. Getting help for domestic violence or abuse

Women don’t have to live in fear:

In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247. Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010. Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732. Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agenciesfor a global list of helplines and crisis centers.

Male victims of abuse can call:

In an emergency:

Call 911 or your country’s emergency service number if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.

For a safe place to stay:

In the US: visit for a state-by-state directory of domestic violence shelters. Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agenciesfor a global list of shelters.

Next section posted will be “Domestic Violence Series (Part 2) – “Explanation of Domestic Violence and Abuse” – “Barriers to Leaving”(Part 2A) on Tuesday, July 17th.


Dr. Hooks

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