"Hidden Bondages" - Soul Ties Part 3 - Session 5

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

SOUL TIES BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN

Genesis 44:30-31 KJV: "30 Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life; 31 It shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave.”

 

In this verse, we see a picture of a father so tied with his son that, were his son to fail to appear, he would go down to his grave with sorrow. Few ties are as tight as those between parents and their children, particularly between a mother and her child. God ordained such natural bondings, knowing that child rearing is difficult. At times, were it not for such soul ties, many parents might be tempted to give up. But with such ties, a parent can sustain a level of unconditional love essential for the proper development of the child.

 

UNGODLY SOUL TIES

A soul tie is a `channel'. Think of a soul tie as a soda straw through which flows mental and emotional things. Spiritual things can pass through as well, be they from the human spirit, be they psychically induced, demonically inspired, or genuine and edifying from the Lord. Because demonic spirits can transfer so easily through soul ties, it's essential to identify and destroy those that are ungodly, controlling, or emotionally binding. Let's look at an example of ungodly ties between a father and his sons: God said, "Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me, to make yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel My people?’"(1 Samuel 2:29 NKJV, 3:13 NKJV).

 

UNGODLY PATERNAL SOUL TIES

In 1 Samuel 3:13 NKJV, God was rebuking the prophet Eli because of his unwillingness to correct his sons for their sins against the Lord. The sin of Eli was parental permissiveness. As a result, God's judgment came upon his house. In spite of their best efforts, parents can be soul tied to their kids in unhealthy ways. Due to their own insecurities, parents can develop soul ties of indifference, permissiveness, idolatry, compromise and control (and in many other areas).

UNGODLY PATERNAL SOUL TIES

In 1 Samuel 3:13 NKJV, God was rebuking the prophet Eli because of his unwillingness to correct his sons for their sins against the Lord. The sin of Eli was parental permissiveness. As a result, God's judgment came upon his house. In spite of their best efforts, parents can be soul tied to their kids in unhealthy ways. Due to their own insecurities, parents can develop soul ties of indifference, permissiveness, idolatry, compromise and control (and in many other areas).

 

Let's consider some of the symptoms and results of ungodly soul ties between parents and their children. Symptoms of Unhealthy or Absent Parent/Child Bonding Periodically swinging from angry correction to guilt. Manipulative, dishonest in dealings with their child. Unreasonably controlling. Resistant to counsel concerning their child rearing. Defensive for the child when others speak of his/her failings or shortcomings. This is always an indicator of a problem:

 

A Sunday School teacher approaches a parent and says, "I'm hesitant to tell you this, but your child has been a real disruption in our class lately." Mom replies, "Not my child! This just can't be true! He's not like that. It must be the effect the other children are having on him." With such words, an unhealthy tie is confirmed. Unhealthy dependence on the child's part for the parent (often the result of "spoiling"). One indication of unhealthy dependence is excessive clinginess and crying whenever mom or dad leave to go somewhere. Often, unhealthy dependence is fostered out of a sense of guilt on the part of the parent. The results can often be as damaging as neglect.

 

God's balance can be seen in nature. As a piece of fruit ripens, so does the tie that connects it to the tree. If you try to remove an apple while it's still green, you'll need to twist and pull to snap it loose. However, when the apple is fully ripe, it will fall off with just the slightest tug. So it should be with children. The dependence that was so essential in the early years needs to gradually give way to a parent-to-child respect that will enable them to leave the nest on their own when it's time.

Click here for PDF version of "Hidden Bondages" S5

 

NOTE: Part 3 – Session 5, was taken from “Hidden Bondages” – http://www.b4prayer.org/index13.html

 

God bless,

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks