"Stop Chasing Your Tail: Break YOUR Cycle"

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

We talk about the “Cycle of Violence and Abuse” but what about the cycle of women (and others) who have been in violent and abusive relationships? They keep doing the same thing over and over (getting into the same kind of relationships)! My ex-Pastor use to say, insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result! I myself use to go from one abusive relationship after the next looking for the “perfect” man to satisfy my every needs; that was insanity! First of all, I would not have recognized the “perfect” man if he would have stood in front of me (I was dysfunctional). Secondly, all the guys I was attracting were abusive (they were dysfunctional); two dysfunctional people CANNOT have a meaningful, healthy relationship. And thirdly, the devil had me on the guest for something that I would never find: the perfect man – there is no perfect human man.

How many people out there feel what I am talking about? If you have been in an abusive relationship, you know what I am talking about! But today is YOUR day to be set free!! Today is day of victory!! Praise the Lord! Today is YOUR day to come out of bondage to domestic violence and abuse AND to ALL future abusive relationships (yes I said ALL! Those relationships with guys, friends, family, church folk, etc.)!

When God delivered me out of the last abusive marriage in July 2006 that was when I STOPPED attracting abusive guys to my life. During my deliverance, healing and restoration process, God begin taking other abusive people out of my life including family, so called friends, church folk, etc. Now when I meet someone and they try to get close to me, I feel a tug in my spirit if they are not the ones God want attached to me or in my life in any way. I use to say, “God not them, they are alright;” like God did not know what He was talking about! Thank You Lord for having patience with me while You taught me about people! Now when it happens, I accept what Holy Spirit is revealing about that person, smile at them (if they are still in front of me), and keep moving. I nor you do not have time for people (the enemy sends into our lives) who are trying to stop our purpose and destiny by causing us to focus on the wrong thing. And focusing on who our next relationship will be with or who our next friend will be or “I am so lonely, I am all alone in the world; I have no family or friends who care” (which are all a bunch of “on me, oh my” – pity party things) are distractions sent by the enemy to stop us from knowing who we are in God and what He has called us to do for His Kingdom and His glory!

I am writing this message today because God gave me a revelation last night while I was talking with my cousin Mikita; thank you Mikita for allowing God to use you to speak into my life and for being available for Him to use you – love you cuz!

God wants EVERY woman coming out of an abusive relationship to know that He is the ONLY One who satisfies your every needs, your broken desires, your disappointments, fulfills your love life, fills EVERY empty space that causes you to feel alone, to feel separated from family, friends, people, to feel you are all alone in this world, to feel you need another man – you can’t live without a man (this is a lie from the pit of hell).

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Shalom,

Dr. Hooks