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Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 Revisited 11-28-22! (S3 Part 3C)

“Violence & Abuse “Complete Program Sessions, Summaries, & Videos (Revisited 11-28-2022)

Due to the recent cases of domestic violence, that ended in the death of the victims, along with other innocent loved ones, I believe God wants me to revisit the “Domestic Violence Seminar: Violence & Abuse” Program’s teachings, Minister Everett James, and I started in July of 2020.

The second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program is the "Violence & Abuse" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session; the outline, and summary for each session is down below. And the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that part, in that session. The content of the original “Violence & Abuse” Program is the same. But to keep the videos, and sessions in order, I am not changing the original dates on the YouTube videos, or the PDF version of the “Violence & Abuse” complete program teaching. However, I am changing dates on the weekly “Violence & Abuse” teachings. And will leave the origin date on the teaching notes also. Example: “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 original dates were from 8-24 to 9-14-2020. On the outline/summary of the first part of session 1, which is “List Types of Abuse,” will look like this (sample from “Session1”):

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 (8-24 to 9-14-2020/9-26 to 10-17-2022). Goal: to define violence & abuse. To accomplish this goal, we will:

  • List Types of Abuse - Part 1A – 8-24-2020 (9-26-2022)
  • Define Each Type - Part 1A-1 – 8-24-2020 (9-26-2022)

Click here for the “Violence & Abuse,” complete program teaching, so you can have it in case you would like to study on your own or share with a friend so he/she can study with you.

Click here for Complete “Importance of Forgiveness” Program, so you can have it to study at any time – the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that session.

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 10-12 to 11-9-2020/11-14 to 12-12-2022). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:

  • Understand Why Abusers Abuse - Part 3A 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
  • Understand Why The Victim Stays - Part 3A 10-19-2020 (11-14-2022)
  • Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3B 10-26-2020 (11-21-2022)
  • Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3C 11-2-2020 (11-28-2022)
  • Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D 11-2-2022 (12-5-2022)
  • Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D-1 & D-2 11-9-2020 (12-12-2022)

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3C (10-26-2020/11-28-2022): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Important Categories of Abuse Covert or Controlling Abuse (continued) – Part 3C:

Here is a partial list of the abuser’s fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms:

  • Unpredictability and Uncertainty – The abuser acts unpredictably on a whim, inconsistently, and irrationally; because he is giving his audience what they want. The victim or others, once they know the abuser, wait for his next twist and turn, his next blizzard whim, outburst, denial, or smile; they are waiting on him to make his next “move.” No wonder being in an abusive relationship is so much “drama;” the abuser is always putting on a horror show. The abuser makes sure that he is the only reliable element in the lives of his nearest and dearest – by shattering the rest of their world through his seemingly insane behavior. He perpetuates his stable presence in their lives – by destabilizing (destabilize means: to make something unstable in order to impair its functioning or bring about its collapse” - Encarta Dictionary.com), their own.

So, the abuser thinks if he makes you unstable, you will see he is stable; he is trying to change your mindset and get you to think like he does (twisted). He actually thinks, he is normal (that’s why when and if they go to counseling, they tell the counsel, “there is nothing wrong with me; she [victim] is the problem”) and you are abnormal.

TIP – Refuse to accept such behavior. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, likings, preferences, and priorities.

  • Disproportional Reactions - One of the favorite tools of manipulation in the abuser’s arsenal is the disproportionality of his He reacts with supreme rage to the slightest slight. Or he would punish severely for what he perceives to be an offence against him, no matter how minor Or, he would throw a temper tantrum over arty discord or disagreement, however gently and considerately expressed. Or he would act inordinately attentive charming and tempting (even over-sexed, if need be).

This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of “justice” meted and judgment passed — on the abuser — are thus guaranteed.

TIP - Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and unpredictable behavior. If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.

  • Dehumanization and Objectification (Abuse) People have a need to believe in the empathic skills and basic good-heartedness of others- By dehumanizing and objectifying people — the abuser attacks the very foundations of human This is the “alien” aspect of abusers — they may be excellent imitations of fully formed adults, but they are emotionally absent and immature. Abuse is so horrid, so repulsive so phantasmagoric (phan.tas.ma.go.ric – bizarre images; ever- changing scene) — that people recoils in terror. It is then, with their defenses absolutely down, that they are the most susceptible and vulnerable to the abuser’s control. Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuses are all forms of dehumanization and objectification abuse.

TIP – Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable (ravenous; greedy). Do not succumb to blackmail. If things get rough - disengage, involve Law Enforcement Officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally; sue). Do not! Keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon (that’s why he wants to isolate you). Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. Again, to contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her website, www.abusedwoman.org.

The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman Book Group.”

Minister Everett James, Th.D., is the Director of Eastern Missouri Bible College, formerly known as the Good Samaritan Bible Institute, is the educational arm of Upper Room Ministries which is located in Saint Louis, Missouri. 

To contact Minister James, email him at embiblecollege@yahoo.com or visit his website at Eastern Missouri Bible College (mn.co).

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3C - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3C - 11-28-2022

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3D 11-2-2020/12-5-2022): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

God’s Blessings to you all and your families!

In Christ,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD

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