"Anger Management Recovery Program" Session 4 - Parts 4A & 4B - Live Session February 13, 2023

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

“AWM Anger Management Recovery Program” Live Session

Agenda Session Four – Parts 4A & 4B – 2-13-2023

1. Start session with prayer – ask Holy Spirit to give you understanding and manifest your inner healing. Jesus HAS ALREADY healed you!!

 

2. Study each part of session highlighted – this program as well as the other ones focus on healing of the spirit, soul, & body.

 

3. Rap Up – write down any questions you may have, and we will go over them at the next “Live Session,” on February 20, 2023.

 

4. Homework: Read "Session 5 – Part 5A" before next Live Session on February 20, 2023.

 

5. Close in Prayer – just pray what you feel in your heart.

 

6. NEXT SESSION: "Session 5 – Part 5A" – February 20, 2023

 

 

Session Four Parts 4A & 4B – 2-13-2023 – Study This Part

 

*Open in Prayer – Pray from your heart

 

*Discuss the Goal: to explain the God given emotion, anger – first part is a review of Session Three:

•  Summarize what we learned from Session Three – Part 4A
•  Define the types of Anger expression: Suppression, Repression, & Uncontrolled Expression – Part 4A
• Learn Relaxation techniques for controlling Anger - Part 4B

 

The last time we met, among other things we talked about the importance of performing self- examination and the importance of the role that journaling helps in that process. We learned that there are key items in helping us learn how to manage our anger and that first we must identify a few things:

 

What triggers our anger (then we can ask God’s help in digging down to the underlying reason for our anger). How we respond to things that angers us is important.

Homework - Describe in your own words the individuals who express their anger this way:

• Suppression (“Crème Puffs”). These people don’t want to acknowledge their anger so they: deny it, ignore it, they are over controlled, and are over responsible.

• Repression (“Steel Magnolias”). These people stuff their anger down: have a hard cord inside; may smile but you can feel the knife in your back; often sarcastic; they say things that really hurt and then turn it around on you – “Gee I had no idea you were so sensitive;” hand out the silent treatment; send mixed messages.

• Uncontrolled Expression - (“Locomotive”). This is where we can find ourselves in trouble with These people: let it all hang out; they explode – intending to hurt anyone or anything in their path; they often are hostile; combative; critical; they shame others; they do anything they can do to make the other person feel their wrath; it’s always someone else’s fault.

We learned that all of these improper responses to anger affect our bodies and can make us physically sick: they can make us physically sick (heart attacks, high blood pressure, ulcers) or emotionally sick: depressed, anxious, withdrawn, psychotic. We also learned that God did not say we had to do this alone. He gave us His Word and His Word says He will never leave you or forsake you – You are not alone even when you are angry!

 

“Learn Relaxation techniques for controlling Anger” – Part 4B

*Relaxation Techniques for Controlling Anger

 

Now that we have:

Acknowledged we have anger issues; are recording and looking at the things that trigger our anger; and identifying how we typically respond to things that anger us, let us begin the process of managing or controlling our anger responses.

How do we do that? First and foremost, I would caution you to rely upon God, utilizing the power of the Holy Spirit to guide you in all things. You cannot do this alone. I can testify to that because I have tried before to handle my own anger but could not. I have tried to control my temper but could not. I have heard people say, “sticks and stones can’t break my bones” – and “words will never hurt me” - but words do hurt, tempers do flare, and we lash out or stuff the hurt way down deep.

But there are alternatives. With God’s help we will begin to look at ways of meeting our anger head on and replacing our typical response with one that is controlled by the Holy Spirit.

*Our Anger Ruler: during the first week of this session, you filled out the “Anger Ruler” to indicate an anger moment. You probably will be now able to identify a few things about yourself from that exercise; how angry you can get and what makes you angry. So, let’s look at your Anger Ruler and see what makes you angry and how did you respond? Also, do you recall any physical changes that took place when you got angry? Did your muscles stiffen? Did you face get flushed? Did you get mad all at once? Did you recognize you were becoming angry? These are physical signs that our body often displays as we become angry and prepare to respond.

 

*Discussion: 

Okay – We are going to learn 3 things about controlling anger and once you have mastered these three steps you will usually be able to escape from an anger episode with little or no damage. Will these techniques help you stop becoming angry – no, that will take you working with the Holy Spirit and/or a counselor to get to the bottom of the things that trigger your anger. But what these things will do is help you control or respond in more appropriate ways, in more biblically guided ways.

*Relaxation Techniques for Controlling Anger (Continued):

- First – Recognize when you are angry

- Second – Quickly evaluate the situation – are you in physical danger? Usually not, but if you are, treat this threat first (by getting out of the area, getting away from the danger), but if not you know you are dealing with anger.

 

- Third – Intervene to stop your anger from growing out of control. (This means to do something that you are not doing now – the goal of intervention is to put your logical mind back in control).

 

- Intervention – is where we are going to learn some anger-interruption techniques (AITs). These are skills or strategies to handle anger. We’ll call them AITs, or skills and strategies to control anger: 1) angry feelings; 2) angry thoughts, and 3) angry behaviors.

Remember as with anything – practice makes perfect so you must practice these techniques. The main idea is to stop or interrupt your anger before it becomes more than a 2 or 3 on your Anger Ruler.

*Three Categories of AITs: Relaxation, Self-Talk and Thought Stopping, and Time-Out.

- Relaxation Techniques:

Anger  Tense

Calm    Relaxed

Relaxation can take many forms – there are physical methods that let you relax your muscles so that your mind can follow; or you can relax your mind first and your body will follow. There are several different ways to learn how to relax physically. We will begin with ways to relax our body: One of the quickest ways is through breathing. You might be thinking I already know how to breathe, but you must develop and practice a deep, rhythmic way of breathing in order to relax your body and interrupt the physical process of anger.

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God's BLESSINGS, to you all and your families!!

In Christ,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD

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