“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"
“AWM Anger Management Recovery Program” Live Session
Agenda Session Five – Part 5A-5B – 2-27-2023
1. Start session with prayer – ask Holy Spirit to give you understanding and manifest your inner healing. Jesus HAS ALREADY healed you!!
2. Study each part of session highlighted – this program as well as the other ones focus on healing of the spirit, soul, & body
3. Rap Up – Keep all materials for future use. You do not have to turn in any homework.
4. Homework: NONE
5. Close in Prayer – just pray what you feel in your heart
6. THIS IS THE LAST PART OF ANGER RECOVERY PROGRAM. Your "Certificate of Completion” is attached.
Open in Prayer – Pray from your heart
Discuss the Goal: to explain the God given emotion, anger
Session Five Part 5A-5B – 2-27-2023 – Study This Part
*Review "Session Four - Parts 4A & 4B" Teaching:
- Relaxation: by developing and practicing a deep, rhythmic way of breathing in order to relax your body and interrupt the physical process of anger.
Start by taking air in through your nose, very slowly, until you can feel your lungs filled with air. When you are comfortably filled with air, exhale breathing out through either your nose or your mouth, whichever you find more relaxing. The important thing is to inhale and exhale slowly and gently. When you inhale deeply your chest and stomach expand and when you exhale – they contract. As you practice breathing watch your chest and stomach. You may feel like yawning when you first start breathing deeply. That is quite normal. Try to develop a deep steady rhythm with your breathing. Sometimes a good way is to breathe in to the count of five and breathe out to the count of five. If you want to do this with your eyes closed.
- Relaxation Techniques for Controlling Anger (First AIT):
First – Recognize when you are angry
Second – Quickly evaluate the situation – are you in physical danger? Usually not, but if you are, treat this threat first (by getting out of the area, getting away from the danger), but if not, you know you are dealing with anger.
Third – Intervene to stop your anger from growing out of control. (This means to do something that you are not doing now – the goal of intervention is to put your logical mind back in control).
- Intervention is where we are going to learn some anger-interruption techniques (AITs). These are skills or strategies to handle anger. We’ll call them AITs, or skills and strategies to control anger: 1) angry feelings; 2) angry thoughts, and 3) angry behaviors.
*“Session 5 – Part 5A Teaching:”
Did you get a chance to practice your deep breathing technique today? This acts as a “stop sign” to your anger – allowing you to stop the anger from escalating, affording you time hopefully for your logical mind to come to the front. So, make sure you practice it at least once a day. Because once you master it, it will become a part of your coping skills.
Let’s get into the Second AIT Technique – Self-Talk and Thought Stopping
This week we are going to learn how positive self-talk can make all the difference in our anger responses. Self-talk refers to messages you give yourself in any situation. In an anger situation, there is generally more negative self-talk than positive. That is why – self-talk can either increase or decrease the intensity of a feeling, depending on how you use it. It can accelerate an altercation between yourself and someone else or it can de-fuse a situation.
Just as we learned to use the deep breathing technique as our “stop sign” for our anger, we now want to use “positive self-talk” as a way to change the direction or alter the course of our anger.
For instance – let’s say you find yourself about to go forward in your car when you realize the garage door is behind you. You say “oops” and quickly step on the brake, shift gears and step on the gas to go in the right direction. So first:
This is called “thought stopping.” You can stop a negative thought by doing something as simple as counting. Have you heard the old saying, “count to ten if you get angry?” it’s the same thing.
So, learn this simple trick and stick to it. Whenever you hear yourself begin negative self-talk, force yourself to see and image in your mind. It can be a “stop sign” a “red light” the word “STOP” or the word “NO” on a TV screen. You see, this forces your mind to turn off the negative. To stop!
Just as we talked about using the breathing technique – it interrupts your anger cycle too.
STOP – practice it. Choose one that you believe will work for you. If you are serious about changing your responses and behavior in response to your anger, you will practice this technique too.
*”Session 5 – Part 5B” Teaching: Third AIT Technique – Time Out
Now for the third AIT – “Time Out.” A form of time out is the relaxation breathing and the thought stopping, but time out goes beyond that – it gives you a specific amount of time during which you decide not to react further to whatever it is that is making you angry.
Time out is a power move. A time out is a self-message. When you give yourself time out – you are giving yourself a message that you are in control and that you can take care of yourself. The other person is no longer in control of your reaction. Time out also gives you the opportunity to choose an alternative response so that you can choose the one that is most beneficial to you.
Here are the three powers of “Time Out:”
With time out, you can choose a way to respond that preserves your dignity, preserves your relationship with the Lord and preserves your relationship with the other person; this is better than the old time out way of counting to 10.
Time out is different that running away. Time out gives you time to sort out your feelings and develop a plan on how to resolve the anger or plan your behavior. It gives you time to explore the meaning of the event, the effect it had on you and the feeling which resulted. When you run away from a problem, the problem remains, and it is just a matter of time until another conflict rears its head with the same resulting feelings. TIME OUTS ARE NOT USED FOR RUNNING AWAY.
All AITs are related, and their main purpose is to provide you with techniques which will allow you to maintain control so that you can focus on a problem and resolve it. Some AITs will work better for you than others, some will work well only at the beginning stages of anger – others will work well in a full blow alarm.
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***NOTE: THIS IS THE LAST PART OF THE "ANGER MANAGEMENT RECOVERY PROGRAM." THE NEXT PART OF THE "JOURNEY OF FREEDOM" PROGRAM, IS THE "EMOTIONAL HEALING" SERIES. AND THIS SERIES WILL BEGIN ON MARCH 13, 2023, AND THERE ARE 11 SESSIONS IN THIS PROGRAM. THE PROJECTED END DATE FOR THE "EMOTIONAL HEALING" SERIES IS MAY 22, 2023.***
God's BLESSINGS, to you all and your families!!
Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD
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