Wednesday's Words to Live By For December 7th - December 13th Forgiving & Forgetting (Part 1)

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

I.   What is forgiving and forgetting?

 

A.   Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting things behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.

B.   Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.

C.    Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.

D.  Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.

E.   Forgiving is giving a sign that a person’s explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.

F.    Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.

G.  Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; Abused Woman Ministries, Inc. is committed to helping you, the wounded, achieve a full, functional, independent way of living.

H.  Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others’ hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.

 

Reference: http://www.livestrong.com/article/15064-handling-forgiving-forgetting/ (the document is no longer available but I wanted to reference where I got the material).

 

We will take a break for the holiday season (Christmas and New Year) and return Jan 4^th therefore have a blessed, happy and joyous holiday season.

 

The topic for Jan 4th: Forgiving & Forgetting Part II – Negative Consequences of the Absence of Forgiving and Forgiving.

Shalom,

Dr. Hooks

 

 

 

“Heart That Forgives” by Kevin LeVar

****Click to accept Christ as YOUR personal Lord & Savior****

 

[SAUNDRA KNIGHT AMAECHI]

DR. HOOKS

I NEED SOME ADVICE I HAVE SO MUCH BAD LUCK, FEEL UNBLESSED AT 5TIMES AND EEL LIKE GOD IS ANGRY AT ME FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE, I HAVE TRIED TO FORGIVE THE MEN THAT SENSELESSLY MURDERED MY DAUGHTER IN 2003, SHE WAS 35 AND SHE WAS SICK AND THEY REFUSED HER TREATMENT, I HAVE FOGIVEN BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET MY CHILD I CARRIED FOR 9 MONTHS HELD , FED, I HAVE NEVER EVER CONFRONTED THOSE DOCTORS, BUT IN MY HEART I KEEP SAYING I FORGIVE THEM BUT YET I LIVE WITH BLOCKED BLESSINGS CONTINUAL POVERTY, BEING DISABLED IN A WHEELCHAIR , NOT MANY ADVANTAGES, I TRULY WANT TO KNOW HAVE I REALLY FORGIVEN THEM OR WHAT ELSE CAN I DO BUT PRAY AND ASK GOD TO CREATE INME A CLEAN HEART, AND ASK HIM TO HELP HEAL MY HEART, SO MY LIFE WILL BE BETTER, AND I CAN BE TRULY BLESSED THEY WALK FREE AS BIRDS LIVE A FABULOUS LIFE, I DO NOT SEE THEM EVER DO NOT GO WHERE THEY ARE BUT I CAN NEVER FORGET MY CHILD, I REALLY DO NOT THINK OF THEM HARDLY UNLESS SOMEONE BRINGS UP MY CHILD MY FIRST BORN, ALL I GOT LEFT OF HER IS A BOX OF ASHES I KNOW AM NOT A MINORITY MOTHERS DOWN THROUGH THE AGES HAVE LOST BABIES, HAD THEIR CHILDREN STOLEN, SOLD ETC, AND SOME BABIES MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, AND I SYMPATHIZE, GREATLY, HOW AND WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? I WANT SO MUCH TO BE HAPPY, REASONABLY ANYWAY I WANT A HUSBAND, THAT IS ALL I AM AM REALLY LACKING, I AM SAVED, IN CHURCH, STUDY AND READ MY WORD, PRAY, AVID CHURCH GOER, I SOLEY DEPEND ON GOD FOR EVERYTHING AND I HAVE ASKED OH HOW I HAVE ASKED FOR HIS HELP, HIS GUIDANCE, HIS COUNSEL, WHAT HAVE I LEFT UNDONE, OR AM NOT DOING THA I MUST SOT ALONE , LONELY AND UNHAPPY?