“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"

Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond! Revisited 2022

“Violence & Abuse” Program Session Summary & Videos

The second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program is the "Violence & Abuse" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session; I will give you the outline of each session down below, with the summary for that section. As before, the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that session.

Click here for the complete "Violence & Abuse" program teaching, so you can have it when you join us. Again, all of the “Journey of Freedom” Programs, will be held via Zoom every Monday, at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern). Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 899 3465 1962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, then 89934651962#, then 035519# US

Click here for Complete “Importance of Forgiveness” Program, so you can have it to study at any time. Although the “Forgiveness” Program has ended, you can always go back and study it anytime. Again, as before, the YouTube video link will be attached to the title of that session.

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 (8-24 to 9-14-2020). Goal: to define violence & abuse. To accomplish this goal, we will:

List Types of Abuse - Part 1A – 8-24-2020
Define Each Type - Part 1A-1 – 8-24-2020
Discuss the Cause & Effect of Abuse - Part 1B – 8-31-2020
Discuss the Power Wheel & Show Examples of Abuse - Part 1C – 9-7-2020
Explain God’s Final word on Generational Sin - Part 1D – 9-14-2020
Closing Scriptures & Prayers Against Domestic Violence - Part 1D – 9-14-2020

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1- Parts...: In Session 1, “Overview & Introduction” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, gives a full explanation of the Program, with the Agenda. And in the sections “List Types of Abuse” and “Define Each Type,” Dr. Hooks explains each:

The "AWM Violence & Abuse Counseling Recovery Program: Getting Beyond the After Effects of Violence & Abuse," is a part of our "Tools for Triumphant Living" Christian Education Program which was developed by Pastor Charlana Kelly)," and the “AWM Counseling Recovery Program.” The purpose of the "AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program," is to help those who are recently out of abusive relationships or is still struggling with the effects from previous abuse. In this recovery program, I will help you through your recovery process one step at a time; this is a program God gave me and I am giving it to you as He gave it to me. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com.

The "AWM Violence & Abuse Recovery Program" is the second part of the “Journey of Freedom: Pursuing Freedom From The Bondage of Traumatic Experiences" Program, which is a declaration for now and in the future, that you are going to continually pursue your freedom, from whatever that has had you in bondage for years, recently, or at present!! Continually pursuit of your freedom means that you will stay free by any means necessary!! You will no longer tolerate foolishness of any kind!! You will rise up and by God's grace take back everything that the enemy has stolen from you (your self-esteem, your self-worth, your freedom to live life as God designed you to, your boldness God gave you through Jesus, and much, much more)!!

*List Types of Abuse & Define Each Type - Part 1A & Part 1A-1:

Physical abuse – Obvious kinds: pushing, shoving, slapping, punching, kicking, biting, choking and pinching. Less obvious kinds: abandonment, reckless driving, forcing someone off the road, refusal to get help when someone is sick or injured, threats or use of an object or weapon.

Sexual – Obvious kinds: forced sexual activity of any kind, as well as jealousy and sexual accusations. Starts with demeaning through jokes, name calling, or unwanted touching. Victims submit because they don’t think they have a right to refuse and it is easier to give in and be left alone afterwards.

Psychological Abuse – Greater than emotional or verbal abuse: psychological abuse induces fear in the victim due to the fact that threats of violence in the past have been accompanied by at least one episode of physical abuse. Threats include: those against an individual or their family, forcing the individual to do degrading things, verbally attacking, or belittling and controlling an individual’s behavior. Other types of threats: to remove, conceal, or harm the children, if a victim leave.

Social Abuse – Isolation of victim from family or friends. Unable to use phone or go anywhere alone. Victim is dependent upon the abuser for all social contacts, which creates an atmosphere or environment where there is no place to go when abuse takes place. Victims begin to feel like a prisoner in their own home.

Financial Abuse – Begins with the abuser taking complete control of the household Victim must turn over all money to abuser and are only given a small amount of money which will not cover living expenses. All family assets are placed in the name of the abuser only. Victims become financially dependent upon the abuser.

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the first meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. Again, to contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

Minister Everett James, Th.D., is the Director of Eastern Missouri Bible College, formerly known as the Good Samaritan Bible Institute, which is the educational arm of Upper Room Ministries and is located in Saint Louis, Missouri. To contact Minister James, email him at elouisjames34@gmail.com or visit his website at Eastern Missouri Bible College.

PDF Handouts for Session 1-Parts 1A & 1A - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1A & 1A-1 - 8-24-2020

"Today I Choose to Heal" Declaration by Pastor Sharon Riley

List of Resources for FL Victims of Domestic Violence & Abuse

List of Resources for Victims of Domestic Violence & Abuse Worl...

Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1B - 8-31-2020): “Cause & Effect of Abuse.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part...: In Session 1, “Cause & Effect of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

* Cause of Abuse: Most times the abuser has been abused themselves. Violence runs from one generation to the other until someone decides to STOP the behavior, receive healing, and begin teaching those within their family how to live free from violence and abuse. So, anger and fear are the root causes for inflicting violence and abuse. Because the abuser fears being out of control, they dominate and controls the victim; exerting their power over and over again. The method the abuser uses with the victim, are the same kind they received when they were abused. They learn other forms of abuse through methods such as: pornography opens the door to sexual abuse/pseudo masochism, etc.

* Effects of Abuse: Victims of violence and abuse often lose all sense of self. They begin to see themselves in the actions and words of their abuser. They will often end up thinking that their life is hopeless and that they somehow deserve to be handled the way the abuser is treating them – the devil always tries to make people hopeless so they can commit suicide. Fear and intimidation are the effects of abuse. Sometimes, victims will become angry and lash out at the abuser, even murdering the perpetrator to end the cycle of abuse.

This is the second meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1B - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1B - 8-31-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1C – 9-7-2020): “Power Wheel & Examples of Abuse.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part 1C (9-7-2020) (***NO VIDEO THIS WEEK***): In Session 1, “Power Wheel & Examples of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

The Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse – Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence and these cycles are:

Abuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss."

Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.

Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior—anything to avoid taking responsibility.

"Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.

Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begin to fantasize about abusing you He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.

Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.

This is the third meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2012. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects that are covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

***Due to Labor Day holiday, session was cancelled. Teaching for this session, was combined with session for 9-14-2020.***

PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1C - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1C - 9-7-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 1, Part 1D – 9-14-2020): “God’s Final Word, & Scriptures & Prayer.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 1 – Part...: In Session 1 - Part 1D (9-14-2020), “God’s Final Word, & Scriptures & Prayer” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, along with discussing the following topics, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks will also discuss the topics from Session 1, Part 1C, from the September 7^th session, since there was no Zoom session due to it was Labor Day. Also, Dr. Hooks will address the question, “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?”

*God’s Final Word on Generational Sin (Ezekiel 18) – Part 1D: We are going to settle this today; sin (violence and abuse) is repeated from one generation to the next because no one ever stopped the cycle of abuse. This is not perpetuated (carried on by) the hand of God, but by the flesh and the plan of the enemy. The Lord clearly says in Ezekiel 18, turn and live.

He does not visit the sins of the father onto the son nor of the Mother onto the daughter; each one will give an account for themselves. We learn the behavior or out of our anger and fear we dominate and control of our own choice. In this class we will help you to learn the triggers and give you tips for handling those who abuse. Lets’ stop the cycle now! Turn away from our ways, acknowledge, repent and forgive. Receive healing and go on living a healthy and happy life with the grace of God.

*Prayer from Scripture

* Prayer Against Domestic Violence

* "Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?"

You or someone you know, may have asked the same question; "Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?" I am going to give you the answer, Dr. Margaret Paul, gave to her clients. Here is an excerpt, from the article, “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?” Dr. Paul’s complete article will be attached to this session’s summary, in the blog section of our website: www.abusedwoman.ning.com, titled, “Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond!”

“I am often asked by my clients, ‘If God is all powerful, why didn't he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle or a stranger) from abusing me? Why does he allow all this abuse to go on?’”

The question indicates that the person does not understand what God is, which means he or she would not understand Mother Theresa's statement, "God has no hands but these."

Many people have been programmed to believe that God is a person in the sky who can stop people from doing awful things.

God is love, God is Spirit. God has no hands, so we must be the hands of God. The love that is God is always here, always ready to enter our hearts when our hearts are open to love. However, since we all have free will, we all decide when to open or close our heart. God cannot enter a closed heart. God comes into our hearts by invitation, and we invite God into our hearts when our intent is to be loving to ourselves and to others.

Abusers have closed their hearts to God. Their intent is to protect themselves against their own pain through some form of controlling behavior. God cannot guide them because their hearts are closed. When a person closes their heart, they cut off their empathy and compassion. They stop caring about the effect they have on others, and can therefore do untold harm."

Therefore, the answer to the question, “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse,” is because the abuser has free will and God cannot reach a person, who has closed their heart to Him. YES, God is ALL POWERFUL, but He is a LOVING God, who does not force us to do anything we don’t want to. God is NOT a tyrant!! God is NOT a bully!! God DOES NOT walk around with a big stick, forcing people to do things out of their will!! God is a GOOD God, and He loves us very much!!

Abusers have no fear of God or anyone else; they love to blame the victim for their actions; they are NOT willing to take responsibility for what they do!! Their hearts are closed to God and everyone else; they are self-centered – they only think about themselves! See my complete answer in the PDF version at the end, of this teaching.

If you or someone you know, are in a domestic relationship, does not matter what kind, I suggest you reach out for help!! Begin to turn to God, look, listen, and watch for His instructions; but don’t just sit there, you put your faith in action and begin to reach out to agencies and organizations for help. Here is some national information for domestic violence victims to obtain help:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-787-3224 - TTY) or if you cannot talk on the phone, go to the website, https://www.thehotline.org/ and chat, or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - https://ncadv.org/do-you-think-youre-being-abused

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the fourth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

PDF Handouts for Session 1-Part 1D - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S1 P1D - 9-14-2020

“Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?” by Margaret Paul, PH.D.

Next week’s Topic (Session 2, Part 2A – 9-21-2020): “Review Previous Section” & “Premise Before Next Section.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 (9-21 to 10-5-2020). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:

Review Previous Section – Part 2A - 9-21-2020
Premise Before Next Section – Part 2A - 9-21-2020
List the ways to recognize Abuse – Part 2B - 9-28-2020
Learn & Understand the Cycles of Abuse – Part 2B-1 - 9-28-2020
Explore how to Stop the Cycle of Abuse - Part 2C - 10-5-2020
Establish a Personal Bill of Right - Part 2C - 10-5-2020

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Part...: In Session 2, “Review Previous Section & Premise Before Next Section” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, explains each:

*Review Previous Section – Part 2A:

Types of Abuse:

Physical Abuse – obvious kinds: pushing, shoving, slapping, and Less obvious kinds: abandonment, reckless driving, forcing someone off the road, refusal to get help when someone is sick or injured, or threaten with a weapon.

Sexual – obvious kinds: forced sexual activity of any kind, as well as jealousy and sexual accusations; unwanted Victims submit because they don’t think they have a right to refuse and it is easier to give in and be left alone afterwards.

Psychological Abuse – greater than emotional or verbal Psychological abuse induces fear in the victim due to the fact that threats of violence in the past have been accompanied by at least one episode of physical abuse. Threats include: those against an individual or their family, forcing the individual to do degrading things, verbally attacking, or belittling and controlling an individual’s behavior.

Social Abuse – isolation of victim from family or Unable to use phone or go anywhere alone.

Financial Abuse – begins with abuser taking complete control of the household finances, giving victims little or no money to cover living Then, they put all assets into their name, causing the victim to become financially dependent on them.

*Cause & Effect of Abuse:

Anger and fear are the causes for inflicting violence and
Fear and intimidation are the effects of

* Read Premise before you start – Part 2A: God always provides a way of escape (Psalm 71:2). To be empowered with information about adverse situations, is to be prepared to respond in a healthy manner that will keep you free from violence and abuse. It is important that we begin to recognize abuse and understand its cycles. No one deserves to be abused. We each have a right to live a healthy, happy, violence free life. We are empowered to do so, when we understand our personal rights and take control of our own life; therefore, becoming the steersman of our future.

This is the fifth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

PDF Handouts for Session 2-Part 2A - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2A - 9-21-2020

The next week’s Topic (Session 2, Parts 2B & 2B-1 9-28-2020): “List ways to recognize abuse” & “Learn & Understand the Cycles of Abuse,” will not have a video; that session is cancelled but I will include that week’s teaching, with the week of 9-21-2020 teaching. Thank you all!!

PDF Handouts for Session 2-Parts 2B & 2B-1 – 9-28-2020 (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2B & 2B-1 - 9-28-2020

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Parts 2B & 2B-1 (9-28-2020) (***NO VIDEO; was combined with 9-21-2020 session***) But there was a video with the "Revisited Live Session 10-31-2022" - click here: In Session 2, “List ways to recognize abuse” & “Learn & Understand the Cycles of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*List ways to recognize abuse – Part 2B:

PHYSICAL Does your partner?....	EMOTIONAL Does your partner?....	SEXUAL Does your partner?....
- Push or shove	- Ignore your feelings	- Tell jokes
- hold you down	- make fun of you	- makes demeaning remarks
- slap or bite	- insult your family/friends	- gets jealous (form of control)
- kick or choke	- embarrass you in public	- forces unwanted sexual acts
- hit or punch	- call you name or shout
- throw objects	- control your action
- abandon/threaten/hurt you	- lie/manipulate
	- threaten you w/weapons

*Learn and understand the Cycles of Abuse – Part 2B-1:

The cycles of abuse are tension building, explosion and love. Each phase will increase in time and intensify the longer the abuse goes on. Let’s look at what happens during these cycles so that we can help you recognize each cycle so you will know them to prevent this abuse from happening again.

Tension building: victim can sense the abuser’s edginess; small issues are smoothed over; victim feels the need to control the situation; victim denies anger; victim believes they deserve the abuse. To cope, victim denies the second phase will occur and believes they has control; victim’s anger grows after each incident; the abuser knows their behavior is wrong and fears losing the victim; victim withdraws in order to stay away from the abuser; abuser’s jealousy and smothering brutality increases; abuser accepts that their rage is out of control, but justifies it; tension rises….

Explosion: Abuser no longer understands their rage; abuser feels the need to teach the victim a lesson; victim will often release their anger and fight back; incidents generally last from a few hours to a couple of days; abuser seems to know how to prolong the attack without killing the victim; the victim will deny the seriousness of their injuries, sometimes to stop the abuse and assure that phase is over…

Love: Welcomed by both; abuser sorry, tries to make up; fears losing the victim; charming and manipulative; abuser believe they can control the victim and never hurt the one they love again; abuser convinces everyone; victim wants to believe this and convinces their self; victim sees a glimpse of the original view of how nice the abuser was; abuser plays dependent; victim ends up feeling responsible for the abuser and the victimization itself (this establishes a victim mentality in the individual); abuser gives the victim whatever they want.

This is the sixth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.”

PDF Handouts for Session 2-Parts 2B & 2B-1 - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2B & 2B-1 - 9-28-2020

The next week’s Topic (Session 2, Part 2C 10-5-2020): “Explore how to STOP the Cycle of Abuse” & “Establish a Personal Bill of Right,” will not have a video; that session is cancelled, but I will include that week’s teaching, with the week of 10-12-2020 teaching. The summary for 10-5-2020, will be listed on the website, along with the teaching materials for that session. Thank you all!!

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 2 – Part C (10-5-2020) (***NO VIDEO THIS WEEK***): In Session 2, “Explore how to STOP the Cycle of Abuse” & “Establish a Personal Bill of Right” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*The Three “G’s” of Stopping the Cycle of Abuse – Part 2C

For change to come, change must take place. The victim of abuse must remove themselves from the situation in order for help to be received.

Get help now! Tell someone in authority that the abuse is taking place; never let the abuse continue.

Get to a safe place!

Get counseling to help with the healing process

*Establish Your Personal Bill of Rights – Part 2C

You will read the Personal Bill of Rights pledge listed in the PDF teaching below; it is pertinent for any situation in your life. It is important to learn your rights as a human being, then don’t allow others to treat you in any way that jeopardizes your rights. The best way to handle any kind of abuse is to remove yourself from the situation and the person who is speaking or acting in a way that demeans who you are.

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the seventh meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 2-Part 2C - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S2 P2C - 10-5-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3A 10-12-2020) - will include S2 P2C teaching: “Understand Why Abusers Abuse” & “Understand Why the Victims Stay.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 (10-12 to 11-9-2020) – Part 3A (10-12-2020): In Session 3, “Understand Why Abusers Abuse & “Understand Why the Victims Stay” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Read Session Foundation – Part 3A: Breaking the cycle of abuse begins with acknowledgement of where you are, and what your responsibilities, in a situation are. Even the victim must recognize why they stay in a violent and abusive situation. When we acknowledge our own issues aside from the other person’s then we can make a decision about how to change the behavior that keeps us locked in the cycle of abuse. Scripture basis: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of a wiser man…Proverbs 11:29 TLB. So, you can say, the person who provokes anyone to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.

* Why do people abuse? – Part 3A: Characteristics of the perpetrator – lack of communication; poor self-image; jealousy; cultural upbringing; alcohol and/or drugs; mental illness; power & control; learned behavior.

Note: 35% of people who abuse do so while under the influence of alcohol (Alcohol Use and Abuse Statistics).

*Why do victims stay? – Part 3A:

1. Fear - What do they fear? – Loss of life; children being hurt; not being able to make it on their own; not knowing where they will go; being considered a failure in the relationship.

2. Children - Belief that children need both parents; do not want children to suffer financial hardships; if children are not abused then they are okay. But the children are abused, they are being abused every time the abuser abuses you; the trauma of seeing you get beat over and over will haunt them later if they do not receive counseling. Because abuse is a learned behavior, remember? So, they will grow up becoming an abuser or becoming a victim if they do not receive help also after you leave the abuser.

3. Economic dependency - The strategy of the abuser is to keep you there with them and they will do everything they can to accomplish their purpose. You think they married you or got into a relationship with you for “love” but sorry to disappoint you, you were an easy “mark” for them. They saw the neediness in you (looking for love) and you became to them someone they can totally manipulate and control.

4. Religious/cultural beliefs - Feels separation and divorce are wrong; already sought help from clergy and were told it was their lot in life or stay and pray; failed marital counseling.

5. Low self-esteem - Devalued; isolated; taking responsibility for the abuse; believe it is the best they can have; shame; feels trapped.

Some other reasons why victims of domestic violence stay are, shame; toxic love; hope for change; no place to go; denial, denial, denial… It also says something about you, you do not value yourself as a human being. You are not seeing that you are “fearfully and wonderfully” made in the image of God. And you will only see that once you are out of the abusive relationship. After God has cleaned you up from the filth of the relationship, He will begin to open your eyes to who you are; you must come out though from the “drama,” so you can clearly see.

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the eighth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3A - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3A - 10-12-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3B 10-19-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse.”

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3B (10-19-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Part 3B:

Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the “silent treatment”), manipulate, and control. There are many ways to abuse: to love too much is a form of abuse – it is the same as treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification (you have made that person your god).

Other forms of abuse: to be over-protective, not to respect privacy, and to be brutally honest, with a sadistic (cruel; vicious) sense of humor, or consistently tactless.

To expect too much, to put down or degrade, are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and sexual abuse; the list is long. Most abusers abuse covertly (sneakily; underhandedly); they are “stealth abusers.” You have to actually live with one in order to witness the abuse.

*Important Categories of Abuse: Overt & Covert or Controlling Abuse – Part 3B:

Overt Abuse – The open and explicit abuse of another person. Threatening, coercing, beating, lying, berating (speak angrily to; tell off; criticize), demeaning, chastising, insulting, humiliating, exploiting, ignoring (“silent treatment”), devaluing, unceremoniously discarding (to rudely or abruptly throw you away or dismiss you), verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse.

Covert or Controlling Abuse – Abuse is almost entirely about control. It is often a primitive and immature reaction to life circumstances in which the abuser (usually in his childhood) was rendered helpless. It is about re-exerting (exert means to – “put (oneself) into strenuous, vigorous action or effort” (www.dictionary.com), one’s identity, re-establishing predictability, mastering the environment – human and physical.

So the abuser’s main goal in the “relationship” is to obtain what he never had as a child: power and control to be himself; he was always told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, his option did not matter, scolded, verbal abused, physical abused, emotional abused, etc. His life as a child was a living nightmare and he will do anything he can to take control of his life (childhood). He is living in the past and thinks abusing you will fix his childhood situation.

Independent or disobedient people evoke in the abuser the realization that something is wrong with his worldview, that he is not the center of the world or its cause and that he cannot control what, to him, are internal representations (you represent him).

To the abuser, using control means going insane. Because other people are mere elements in the abuser’s mind — being unable to manipulate them literally means losing it (his mind). Imagine, if you suddenly were to find out that you cannot manipulate your memories or control your thoughts. Nightmarish! In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to a myriad (countless) of fiendishly (diabolical; cunning and malicious) inventive stratagems (clever schemes) and mechanisms (the abuser is TOTALLY controlled by the devil).

This is the ninth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3B - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3B - 10-19-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3C 10-26-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3C (10-26-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Important Categories of Abuse Covert or Controlling Abuse (continued) – Part 3C:

Here is a partial list of the abuser’s fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms:

Unpredictability and Uncertainty – The abuser acts unpredictably, on a whim, inconsistently, and irrationally; because he is giving his audience what they The victim or others, once they know the abuser, wait for his next twist and turn, his next blizzard whim, outburst, denial, or smile; they are waiting on him to make his next “move.” No wonder being in an abusive relationship is so much “drama;” the abuser is always putting on a horror show. The abuser makes sure that he is the only reliable element in the lives of his nearest and dearest – by shattering the rest of their world through his seemingly insane behavior. He perpetuates his stable presence in their lives – by destabilizing (destabilize means: to make something unstable in order to impair its functioning or bring about its collapse” - Encarta Dictionary.com), their own. So, the abuser thinks if he makes you unstable, you will see he is stable; he is trying to change your mindset and get you to think like he does (twisted). He actually thinks, he is normal (that’s why when and if they go to counseling, they tell the counsel, “there is nothing wrong with me; she [victim] is the problem”) and you are abnormal.

TIP – Refuse to accept such behavior. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, likings, preferences, and priorities.

Disproportional Reactions - One of the favorite tools of manipulation in the abuser’s arsenal is the disproportionality of his He reacts with supreme rage to the slightest slight. Or, he would punish severely for what he perceives to be an offence against him, no matter how minor Or, he would throw a temper tantrum over arty discord or disagreement, however gently and considerately expressed. Or, he would act inordinately attentive charming and tempting (even over-sexed, if need be).

This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of “justice” meted and judgment passed — on the abuser — are thus guaranteed.

TIP - Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and unpredictable behavior. If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.

Dehumanization and Objectification (Abuse) – People have a need to believe in the empathic skills and basic good-heartedness of others- By dehumanizing and objectifying people — the abuser attacks the very foundations of human This is the “alien” aspect of abusers — they may be excellent imitations of fully formed adults, but they are emotionally absent and immature. Abuse is so horrid, so repulsive so phantasmagoric (phan.tas.ma.go.ric – bizarre images; ever-changing scene) — that people recoils in terror. It is then, with their defenses absolutely down, that they are the most susceptible and vulnerable to the abuser’s control. Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuses are all forms of dehumanization and objectification abuse.

TIP – Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable (ravenous; greedy). Do not succumb to blackmail. If things get rough - disengage, involve Law Enforcement Officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally; sue). Do not! Keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon (that’s why he wants to isolate you). Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.

This is the tenth meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16469313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3C - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3C - 10-26-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3D 11-2-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3D (11-2-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Important Categories of Abuse:

Partial list of the abusers’ fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms (continued) – Part 3D:

Abuse of Information – From the first moments of an encounter with another person, the abuser is on the prowl; he collects The more he knows about his potential victim – the better able he is to coerce, manipulate, charm, extort or convert it “to the cause”. The abuser does not hesitate to misuse the information he gleaned, regardless of its intimate nature or the circumstances in which he obtained it. This is a powerful tool in his armory.

TIP - Be guarded. Don’t be too forthcoming in a first or casual meeting. Gather intelligence. Be yourself. Don’t misrepresent your wishes, boundaries, preferences, priorities, and red lines. Do not behave inconsistently. Do not go back on your word. Be firm and resolute.

Impossible Situations - The abuser engineers impossible, dangerous, unpredictable, unprecedented, or highly specific situations in which he is sorely The abuser makes sure that his knowledge, his skills, his connections or his traits are the only ones applicable and the most useful in the situations that he, himself, wrought. The abuser generates his own indispensability.

TIP - Stay away from such quagmires. Scrutinize every offer and suggestion, no matter how innocuous. Prepare backup plans. Keep others informed of your whereabouts and apprised of your situation. Be vigilant and doubting. Do not be gullible and suggestible. Better safe than sorry.

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the eleventh meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program, and subsequent sessions will be held via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are complete, which will be December 12, 2022. Zoom meeting information: Meeting ID: 89934651962 - Password: 035519. Mobile: 16569313860, 89934651962#, 035519# US.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Part 3D - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3D - 11-2-2020

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2 11-9-2020): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

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Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Parts 3D-1 & 3D2 (11-9-2020): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Important Categories of Abuse:

Partial list of the abusers’ fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms (continued) – Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2:

Control by Proxy - If all else fails, the abuser recruits’ friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbors, the media, teachers — in short, third parties — to do his He uses them to persuade, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target - he controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey; he employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props (the ones he uses) unceremoniously (callously) when the job is done.

Another form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, disgrace, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.

TIP - Often the abusers’ proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser. Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you (not in the sense of getting even but use tactics to expose him; once the enemy is exposed, he will either give up or run away. However, most likely, the abuser will not give up but runaway; to his next “mark” to make them a victim.) Involve others. Bring it into the open. Nothing like sunshine to disinfest abuse (stop the secret abuse).

Ambient Abuse - The fostering, breeding, and enhancement of an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and There are no acts of traceable explicit abuse, nor any manipulative settings of control. Yet, the irksome feeling remains, a disagreeable foreboding, a premonition, a bad omen. In the long term, such an environment erodes the victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Self-confidence is shaken badly. Often, the victim adopts a paranoid (fearful; mistrustful; obsessed; unreasonable; suspicious) or schizoid (schizoid means: “tending toward schizophrenia - showing some of the symptoms of schizophrenia such as withdrawal into the self and a tendency to fantasize” – Encarta Dictionary.com; thus, becoming a paranoid schizophrenic) stance and thus renders herself exposed even more to criticism and judgment. The roles are thus reversed: the victim is considered mentally deranged and the abuser — the suffering soul; abusers are hit men for the devil.

TIP - Run! Get away! Ambient abuse often develops to overt and violent abuse. You don’t owe anyone an explanation - but you owe yourself a life, BAIL OUT.

Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, and psychological sexual, or financial. It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviors, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders.

Conclusion: This concludes the “Violence & Abuse” Recovery Program!

Handout on “Long Term Effects of Violence & Abuse” Attached!

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

This is the twelfth and final meeting of the “Violence & Abuse,” Program. The next program will be the “Anger Management” Program. The start date for the "Anger Management" Program will be announced at a later date. After the program starts, all subsequent sessions will be held as usual via Zoom on Mondays at 5:30 pm (Central), 6:30 pm (Eastern), and will continue until all the sessions are completed. There are two more parts to the “Journey of Freedom” Program, after “Anger Management,” which are “Emotional Healing,” and “Unholy Matrimony Book Discuss.”

Zoom meeting information: Will be given later

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery. To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to her main website, www.abusedwoman.org, or her blog/teaching website, www.abusedwoman.ning.com. Some of the subjects covered are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman.” We will be studying these programs in the order they are listed here.

PDF Handouts for Session 3-Parts 3D-1 & 3D-2 - (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3D-1 & 3D-2 -11-9-2020

Click here for PDF version of DV Program 2020 & Beyond

I pray this program will be a blessing to you, and that God will deliver, heal, and restore you from ALL unforgiveness, including against yourself, and ALL the effects of the domestic violence or other traumatic events you have suffered! If you still in an abusive relationship of ANY kind, please seek help!! I pray for your continual healing and restoration, for any and all things that keeps you from following after God!

If you have any questions, contact me at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org or Minister Everett James at elouisjames34@gmail.com.

God's Blessings to you all and your families,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks

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Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond! Revisited 2022

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