Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond! Revisited 2022 Live Sessions 11-14-2022

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

“Session 3, Part 3A” Live Session 11-14-2022

Hello everyone! I pray that you all and your families are very well!! We are continuing today with our “Violence & Abuse” Program, in the “Domestic Violence Seminar” series. As I stated before, this is the second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session. The complete outline, for each session will be included at the end of each week’s session. You will see on my website, www.abusedwoman.ning, and Minister Everett James’ website, Eastern Missouri Bible College, the “Violence & Abuse” weekly summaries by date first (all the summaries, even the upcoming ones, will be listed on our websites). The video will be posted after we record our live sessions on Monday evenings – the link to that session’s video will be attached to the title of the session. Therefore, as the summaries are released each week, you will have the opportunity to study the materials before the video is posted.

Zoom information: Day & Time: Mondays 5:30p (CST) – 6:30P (EST)

Click Here For Meeting Link

Meeting ID: 899 3465 1962     Meeting Password: 035519

Mobile: [phone], then 89934651962#, then 035519# US

These are the previous sessions of the “Domestic Violence Seminar” Programs w/summaries and videos:

“Importance of Forgiveness” (Completed Program)

“Violence & Abuse” – this link will take you to the parts of the program that we completed in 2020 (up to “Session 2, Part 2A” which is dated 9-21-2020). Also at this link, you will find the complete upcoming “Violence & Abuse” summaries. Minister Everett James and I restarted the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 10-24-2022. However, there was no video recording because we had technical issues.

Click here to view “Session 2, Part 2A” from the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 9-21-2020 which is the session revisited on 10-24-2022.

Click here to view the “Agenda October 24, 2022” that goes with the “Violence & Abuse” Program from October 24, 2022.

Click here for dates of 9-26 to 10-31-22 of the "Violence & Abuse” Revisited Program and “Live Sessions for 10-31 to 11-7-22,” before studying 11-14-22 session.

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 10-12 to 11-9-2020/11-14 to 12-12-2022). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:

• Understand Why Abusers Abuse - Part 3A – 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Understand Why The Victim Stays - Part 3A – 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3B – 10-19-2020 (11-21-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3C – 10-26-2020 (11-28-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D – 11-2-2022 (12-5-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D-1 & D-2 – 11-9-2020 (12-12-2022)

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part... In Session 3, “Understand Why Abusers Abuse & “Understand Why the Victims Stay” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Read Session Foundation – Part 3A: Breaking the cycle of abuse begins with an acknowledgment of where you are and what your responsibilities in a situation are. Even the victim must recognize why they stay in a violent and abusive situation. When we acknowledge our own issues aside from the other person’s, then we can make a decision about how to change the behavior that keeps us locked in the cycle of abuse. Scripture basis: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of a wiser man…Proverbs 11:29 TLB. So, you can say the person who provokes anyone to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.

*Why do people abuse? – Part 3A: Characteristics of the perpetrator – lack of communication; poor self-image; jealousy; cultural upbringing; alcohol and/or drugs; mental illness; power & control; learned behavior.

Note: 35% of people who abuse do so while under the influence of alcohol (Alcohol Use and Abuse Statistics - Last Updated: December 29, 2021).

*Why do victims stay? – Part 3A:

1. Fear - What do they fear? – Loss of life; children being hurt; not being able to make it on their own; not knowing where they will go; being considered a failure in the relationship.

2. Children - Belief that children need both parents; do not want children to suffer financial hardships; if children are not abused, then they are okay. But the children are abused; they are being abused every time the abuser abuses you; the trauma of seeing you get beat over and over will haunt them later if they do not receive counseling. Because abuse is a learned behavior, remember? So, they will grow up becoming an abuser or becoming a victim if they do not receive help, also after you leave the abuser.

3. Economic dependency - The strategy of the abuser is to keep you there with them, and they will do everything they can to accomplish their purpose. You think they married you or got into a relationship with you for “love,” but sorry to disappoint you, you were an easy “mark” for them. They saw the neediness in you (looking for love), and you became to them someone they could totally manipulate and control.

4. Religious/cultural beliefs – Feels separation and divorce are wrong; already sought help from clergy and were told it was their lot in life or stay and pray; failed marital counseling.

5. Low self-esteem - Devalued; isolated; taking responsibility for the abuse; believe it is the best they can have; shame; feels trapped.

Some other reasons why victims of domestic violence stay are shame; toxic love; hope for change; no place to go; denial, denial, denial… It also says something about you; you do not value yourself as a human being. You are not seeing that you are “fearfully and wonderfully” made in the image of God. And you will only see that once you are out of the abusive relationship. After God has cleaned you up from the filth of the relationship, He will begin to open your eyes to who you are; you must come out though from the “drama” so you can clearly see what God is showing you.

**NOTE: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TURN IN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS**

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband, or wife. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery.  To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at [e-mail], or go to her website,  www.abusedwoman.org.

The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman Book Group.”

Minister Everett James, Th.D., is the Director of Eastern Missouri Bible College, formerly known as the Good Samaritan Bible Institute, which is the educational arm of Upper Room Ministries STL and is located in Saint Louis, Missouri. To contact Minister James, email him at [e-mail] or visit his website at Eastern Missouri Bible College.

PDF Handout for Session 3-Part 3A Study Notes (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3A - 10-12-2020/11-14-2022

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Click here for PDF version of "Live Session 11-14-2022" Summary Notes

Click here for PDF version of "Violence & Abuse" Program Outline

Click here for a FREE copy of my book, "Unholy Matrimony: Healing F...

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3B 10-19-2020/11-21-2022): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse.”

***NO LIVE SESSION 11-21-22 - THANKSGIVING***

God's BLESSINGS to you all and your families!! NEVER forget, God is with you, God is for you, and God got you!!

In Christ,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD