Recovery For Abused Women

“Empowering the abused woman to recover with God's truth"

"Unholy Matrimony Book Discussion Group" Starts Today! Last Part of "Domestic Violence Seminar" - 6-5-2023

"AW Book Discussion Group," Part 1, Guide 1, 6-5-2023

Hello, I am glad you decided to continue with the “Journey of Freedom” Program! This journey is continuous – until Jesus comes back to take us home, we will be growing and making sure there is NOTHING holding us back from our COMPLETE BREAKTHROUGH!! As the Word tells us in Romans 12:1-2, we must not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing our mind so we can prove what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God. The Word will transform our minds so that we can grow in God!! Praise God that you made it this far and for Him taking you all the way!!

Today, June 5, 2023, Minister Everett James and I will begin the next part of the “Journey of Freedom” Program, which is the “Unholy Matrimony Book Discussion Group.” This is the last part of the “Journey of Freedom” Program and the “Domestic Violence Seminar” Series.

Our previous programs were “Importance of Forgiveness,”  “Violence & Abuse,"

“Angry Management,”  and the “Emotional Healing” Series. Due to the sensitive nature of the “Unholy Matrimony Book Discussion Group,” this part will not be live-streamed. However, each week’s teaching will be posted on our blog websites: www.abusedwoman.ning.com/ & Eastern Missouri Bible College.

In the “Unholy Matrimony Book Discussion Group,” there are four lessons. The projected end date is June 26, 2023. Although there are only four sessions that we will be covering, there is much information to cover. Therefore, we might need an extra week to complete the “Book Group.” If that is the case, the last day of the class will be July 10.th If not, the class will end on June 26, 2023.

 

To contact Minister James, email him at elouisjames34@gmail.com or visit his websites at Eastern Missouri Bible College or Upper Room Ministries, Inc. To contact me, my email is drdehooks@abusedwoman.org, or go to my website,  www.abusedwoman.org/. 

“Unholy Matrimony: Healing For The Abused Woman”

Book Group Discussion Complete Outline

 

I. Chapter review of specific sections

   A. June 5th sections to be discussed:

          1. Preface

          2. Introduction

          3. Chapter 1

    B. June 12th sections to be discussed:

          1. Chapter 2

          2. Chapter 3

    B. June 19th section to be discussed:

         *“Loneliness”

    C. June 26th sections to be discussed:

           1. Chapter 4

           2. Chapter 5

           3. Chapter 6

II. Questions & answer session after each meeting

III. Group comments after each meeting

IV. Feedback about the book at the end

Study Notes for “Unholy Matrimony Book Discussion Group” Part 1, Guide 1 – 6-5-23:

“Unholy Matrimony: Healing For The Abused Woman”

Book Group Discussion Study Guide

I. Chapter review of specific sections

A. June 5, 2023, sessions to be discussed:

1. Preface – How it all began:

*I was rejected by my mother and father at age 2.

*This caused me to become bitter and seek after love.

*Also caused me to become co-dependent which caused me to attract the wrong type of men in my life.

*Childhood issues never were resolved nor got over relationships which caused me to keep getting into abusive relationships.

*Thought a man would make me complete.

2. Introduction Genesis 2:18 show that God gave a woman as a helper for her husband. A helper who is comparable (same intellect, morals, suitable, etc.) as her husband. God said He would make this person for Adam. So, if God made a person for Adam, He can and will make the woman someone suitable for her. You will be able to become one flesh with your husband when God put you together. God said in Ephesians 5:31, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” The husband’s love for his wife is symbolic of Christ’s love for us; the church (Ephesians 5:25).

There are four types of love:

*Eros – love between husband and wife; sexual or physical; based upon passion. God created this love for husbands and wives so they could be fruitful and multiply.

*Philia – friendship love; the highest kind of human love. David and Jonathan had this kind of love. It is the warm, close relationship of body, mind, and spirit.

*Storge – family love; the love of parents for their children and children for their parents.

*Agape – agape love is different from the other three types of love because they are based on emotion and affection; come from forming an emotional bond. However, agape love is the love God has for His people; it is not determined by feelings. This love goes beyond people you know to even your enemies. This is the love Matthew 5:45 talks about; God raining on the just as well as the unjust. God has agape love for us because He sent His Son to die for us while we were still sinners. God loves everyone but He does not love the sin in their lives. God even loves the ones who do not love Him. So, agape is the love of God.

The role of the husband and wife is very important because it shows the spiritual connection between Christ and the church (us). God loves us unconditionally so we do not have to look for love in all the wrong places. As a matter of fact, we do not have to look for love at all; it will find us.

   

Don’t look at the outward appearance of a man but ask God to show you his heart (1 Samuel 16:7) because looks can deceive you; get to know him by the Spirit. 

3. Chapter 1 - Be anxious for nothing

God will present you with a husband but it is up to you to accept or reject him. He will let you know before you marry the person if this is the one for you. In Deuteronomy 7:3, God warns the Israelites not to marry the Canaanites because the Canaanites did not serve Him; they worshipped other gods. God is not going to send you someone who will corrupt you and hinder you from fulfilling your destiny. Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?” No, they can not. God and the devil will never agree. Also, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 talks about being unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

When you do not obey God, this causes disobedience which causes you to form ungodly soul ties. God says not to commit fornication or adultery but you do it anyway, you have formed an ungodly soul tie. Remember, God ordained Eros love to be between a husband and wife so they could be fruitful and multiply. God meant for a husband and wife to become one flesh not for us to become one flesh with anyone we lie down with. We must be careful with whom we connect ourselves with. We must wait on God to send our compatible mate.

 

A soul tie is the knitting together of two souls. A godly soul-tie relationship can bring tremendous blessings (David & Jonathan, 1 Samuel 18:1-4) and an ungodly soul-tie relationship can bring destruction when made with the wrong person (David & Saul, 1 Samuel 18:8-11). There are sometimes deadly consequences when you do not wait on God. Not only will not waiting on God cause deadly consequences, but not dealing with childhood issues can cause deadly consequences. Childhood issues will cause you to connect yourself with the wrong people because you are trying to get from people what you did not get from your parents. If your parents did not nurture, cuddle, love, or validate you as a child, you will most likely grow up with a need for love and affection; as I did.

The problems I encountered as a child (abandonment, rejection, neglect, lack of love and affection, etc.), caused me to anxiously look for a man to love me. I lowered my standards, compromised, and allowed myself to be abused for the sake of “love.” I had not dealt with what happened to me as a child, I just kept running from relationship to relationship. I would get out of one relationship and jump into another one without allowing God to heal me. I wanted to use one guy to forget the other guy but that does not work. All that does is set you up for a hard fall; makes you a walking time bomb. I had compounding issues inside of me along with so much anger that I hated almost everything and everybody; including myself. I blamed everybody for what was happening to me; everybody else had the problem, not me. The last husband I had brought out everything in me from my past and I exploded. But I thank God; I was not alone when I did. God was there with me and He took the impact so the charge did not kill me. I can truly say as David said in Psalm 124, if it had not been the Lord who was on my side, I would have been swallowed alive in my LAST abuser's burning anger (bible.com NLT version).

II. Question & Answer Session

III. Your Comments

Click Here for the PDF Version of Part 1, Guide 1, Agenda/Outline, 6-5-2023

Click Here for the PDF Version of Part 2, Guide 2A 6-12

Copy of my book, “Unholy Matrimony: Healing For The Abused Woman”

 

Homework: Read Chapters 2 & 3 in “AW Book Group Part 2, Guide 2A for 6-12-2023.”

Next Session: “AW Book Group Part 2, Guide 2A – 6-12-2023

 

God’s BLESSINGS to you all, as you go through YOUR process, of discovering who you REALLY are in Christ!! And once you KNOW this, NO trauma, of ANY KIND, can hold you back, from pursuing God in the way Jesus died for you to – so you could have an ULTIMATE relationship with God your Father, and Creator!! DON’T ALLOW ANYTHING, TO STOP YOU FROM HAVING A ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!! Jesus gave HIS life, so YOU could have a relationship with the Father!!

 

In Christ,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD

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