Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond! Revisited 2022 Live Sessions 11-21-2022

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

“Session 3, Part 3B” Live Session 11-21-2022

Hello everyone! I pray that you all and your families are very well!! We are continuing today with our “Violence & Abuse” Program, in the “Domestic Violence Seminar” series. As I stated before, this is the second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session. The complete outline, for each session will be included at the end of each week’s session. You will see on my blog website, www.abusedwoman.ning, and Minister Everett James’ blog website, Eastern Missouri Bible College, the “Violence & Abuse” weekly summaries by date first (all the summaries, even the upcoming ones, will be listed on our websites). The video will be posted after we record our live sessions on Monday evenings – the link to that session’s video will be attached to the title of the session. Therefore, as the summaries are released each week, you will have the opportunity to study the materials before the video is posted.

Zoom information: Day & Time: Mondays 5:30p (CST) – 6:30P (EST)

Click Here For Meeting Link

Meeting ID: 899 3465 1962     Meeting Password: 035519

Mobile: [phone], then 89934651962#, then 035519# US

These are the previous sessions of the “Domestic Violence Seminar” Programs w/summaries and videos:

“Importance of Forgiveness” (Completed Program)

“Violence & Abuse” – this link will take you to the parts of the program that we completed in 2020 (up to “Session 2, Part 2A” which is dated 9-21-2020). Also at this link, you will find the complete upcoming “Violence & Abuse” summaries. Minister Everett James and I restarted the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 10-24-2022. However, there was no video recording because we had technical issues.

Click here to view “Session 2, Part 2A” from the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 9-21-2020 which is the session revisited on 10-24-2022.

Click here to view the “Agenda October 24, 2022” that goes with the “Violence & Abuse” Program from October 24, 2022.

Click here for dates of 9-26 to 10-31-22 of the "Violence & Abuse” Revisited Program and “Live Sessions for 10-31 to 11-14-22,” before studying 11-21-22 session.

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 10-12 to 11-9-2020/11-14 to 12-12-2022). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:

• Understand Why Abusers Abuse - Part 3A – 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Understand Why The Victim Stays - Part 3A – 10-19-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3B – 10-26-2020 (11-21-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3C – 11-2-2020 (11-28-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D – 11-2-2022 (12-5-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D-1 & D-2 – 11-9-2020 (12-12-2022)

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part 3B (10-19-2020/11-21-2022 - *NO VIDEO*): In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Part 3B:

Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the “silent treatment”), manipulate, and control. There are many ways to abuse: to love too much is a form of abuse – it is the same as treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification (you have made that person your god). Other forms of abuse: to be over-protective, not respecting privacy, and to be brutally honest, with a sadistic (cruel; vicious) sense of humor, or being consistently tactless.

To expect too much, to put down or degrade are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and sexual abuse; the list is long. Most abusers abuse covertly (sneakily, underhandedly); they are “stealth abusers.” You have to actually live with one in order to witness the abuse.

*Important Categories of Abuse: Overt & Covert or Controlling Abuse – Part 3B:

• Overt Abuse – The open and explicit abuse of another. Threatening, coercing, beating, lying, berating (speak angrily to; tell off; criticize), demeaning, chastising, insulting, humiliating, exploiting, ignoring (“silent treatment”), devaluing, unceremoniously discarding (to rudely or abruptly throw you away or dismiss you), verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.

• Covert or Controlling Abuse – Abuse is almost entirely about control. It is often a primitive and immature reaction to life circumstances in which the abuser (usually in his childhood) was rendered helpless. It is about re-exerting (exert means to “put oneself into strenuous, vigorous action or effort” dictionary.com), one’s identity, re-establishing predictability, and mastering the environment – human and physical.

So, the abuser’s main goal in the “relationship” is to obtain what they never had as a child: power and control to be themself; they were always told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, their option did not matter, scolded, verbally abused, physically abused, emotionally abused, etc. Their life as a child was a living nightmare, and they would do anything they could to take control of their life (childhood). They are living in the past and think abusing you will fix their childhood situation.

Independent or disobedient people evoke in the abuser the realization that something is wrong with his worldview, that he is not the center of the world or its cause, and that he cannot control what, to him, are internal representations (you represent him).

To the abuser, using control means going insane. Because other people are mere elements in the abuser’s mind — being unable to manipulate them literally means losing it (his mind). Imagine if you suddenly were to find out that you cannot manipulate your memories or control your thoughts. Nightmarish! In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to a myriad (countless) of fiendishly (diabolical, cunning, and malicious) inventive stratagems (clever schemes) and mechanisms (the abuser is TOTALLY controlled by the devil).

**NOTE: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TURN IN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS**

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue; there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband or wife. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery.  To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at [e-mail], or go to her website,  www.abusedwoman.org.

The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman Book Group.”

Minister Everett James, Th.D., is the Director of Eastern Missouri Bible College, formerly known as the Good Samaritan Bible Institute, which is the educational arm of Upper Room Ministries STL and is located in Saint Louis, Missouri. To contact Minister James, email him at [e-mail] or visit his website at Eastern Missouri Bible College.

PDF Handout for Session 3-Part 3B Study Notes (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3B - 10-19-2020/11-21-2022

**NO LIVE SESSION ON 11-21-2022 – THANKSGIVING WEEK**

****************************************************************************************************

Click here for PDF version of "Live Session 11-21-2022" Summary Notes

Click here for PDF version of "Violence & Abuse" Program Outline

Click here for a FREE copy of my book, "Unholy Matrimony: Healing F...

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3C 10-26-2020/11-28-2022): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

God's BLESSINGS to you all and your families!!

In Christ, 

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD