Domestic Violence Seminar, "Journey of Freedom: Violence & Abuse" Program 2020 & Beyond! Revisited 2022 Live Sessions 11-28-2022

[Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD]

“Session 3, Part 3C” Live Session 11-28-2022

Hello everyone! I pray that you all and your families are very well!! We are continuing today with our “Violence & Abuse” Program, in the “Domestic Violence Seminar” series. As I stated before, this is the second program in the "Journey of Freedom" Program. In this program, there are three sessions, and several parts to each session. The complete outline, for each session will be included at the end of each week’s session. You will see on my blog website, www.abusedwoman.ning, and Minister Everett James’ blog website, Eastern Missouri Bible College, the “Violence & Abuse” weekly summaries by date first (all the summaries, even the upcoming ones, will be listed on our websites). The video will be posted after we record our live sessions on Monday evenings – the link to that session’s video will be attached to the title of the session. Therefore, as the summaries are released each week, you will have the opportunity to study the materials before the video is posted.

Zoom information: Day & Time: Mondays 5:30p (CST) – 6:30P (EST)

Click Here For Meeting Link

Meeting ID: 899 3465 1962     Meeting Password: 035519

Mobile: [phone], then 89934651962#, then 035519# US

These are the previous sessions of the “Domestic Violence Seminar” Programs w/summaries and videos:

“Importance of Forgiveness” (Completed Program)

“Violence & Abuse” – this link will take you to the parts of the program that we completed in 2020 (up to “Session 2, Part 2A” which is dated 9-21-2020). Also, at this link, you will find the complete upcoming “Violence & Abuse” summaries. Minister Everett James and I restarted the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 10-24- 2022. However, there was no video recording because we had technical issues.

Click here to view “Session 2, Part 2A” from the “Violence & Abuse” Program on 9-21-2020 which is the session revisited on 10-24-2022.

Click here to view the “Agenda October 24, 2022” that goes with the “Violence & Abuse” Program from October 24, 2022.

Click here for dates of 9-26 to 10-31-22 of the "Violence & Abuse” Revisited Program and “Live Sessions for 10-31 to 11-21-22,” before studying 11-28-22 session.

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 10-12 to 11-9-2020/11-14 to 12-12-2022). Goal: to recognize abuse and its cycle. To accomplish this goal, we will:

• Understand Why Abusers Abuse - Part 3A – 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Understand Why The Victim Stays - Part 3A – 10-12-2020 (11-14-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3B – 10-19-2020 (11-21-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3C – 10-26-2020 (11-28-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D – 11-2-2022 (12-5-2022)
• Develop Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 3D-1 & D-2 – 11-9-2020 (12-12-2022)

Domestic Violence Seminar, “Violence & Abuse,” Session 3 – Part...: In Session 3, “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse”(continued) of the “Violence & Abuse” Program, Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, discusses the following topics:

*Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Important Categories of Abuse Covert or Controlling Abuse (continued) – Part 3C:

Here is a partial list of the abuser’s fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms:

• Unpredictability and Uncertainty – The abuser acts unpredictably on a whim, inconsistently, and irrationally; because they are giving their audience what they want. The victim or others, once they know the abuser, wait for their next twist and turn, their next blizzard whim, outburst, denial, or smile; they are waiting on him to make his next “move.” No wonder being in an abusive relationship is so much “drama;” the abuser is always putting on a horror show. The abuser ensures they are the only reliable element in the lives of their nearest and dearest – by shattering the rest of the victim’s world through the victim’s seemingly insane behavior (the abuser wants people to think the victim is crazy). They perpetuate their stable presence in the victim’s life – by destabilizing (destabilize means: to make something unstable in order to impair its functioning or bring about its collapse” - Dictionary.com) the victim’s life.

So, the abuser thinks if they make you unstable, you will see they are stable; they are trying to change your mindset and get you to think like they do (twisted). They actually think they are normal (that’s why when and if they go to counseling, they tell the council, “There is nothing wrong with me; she/he [the victim] is the problem”), and you are abnormal.

TIP – Refuse to accept such behavior. Demand reasonably, predictable, and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, likings, preferences, and priorities.

• Disproportional Reactions - One of the favorite manipulation tools in the abuser’s arsenal is the disproportionality of their reactions. They react with supreme rage to the slightest slight. Or they would punish severely for what they perceive to be an offense against them, no matter how minor, or they would throw a temper tantrum over inventive discords or disagreement, however gently and considerately expressed. Or they would act inordinately attentive, charming, and tempting (even over-sexed if need be).

This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of “justice” meted and judgment passed — on the abuser — are thus guaranteed.

TIP - Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and unpredictable behavior. If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let them taste some of their own medicine - NOT rending evil for evil but taking a stand, by the POWER of Holy Spirit, against the demonic violence of abuse!!

• Dehumanization and Objectification (Abuse) – People have a need to believe in the empathic skills and basic good-heartedness of others – by dehumanizing and objectifying people — the abuser attacks the very foundations of human This is the “alien” aspect of abusers — they may be excellent imitations of fully formed adults, but they are emotionally absent and immature. Abuse is so horrid, so repulsive, so phantasmagoric (phan.tas.ma.go.ric – bizarre images; ever-changing scene) — that people recoil in terror. It is then, with their defenses absolutely down, that they are the most susceptible and vulnerable to the abuser’s control. Physical, psychological, verbal, and sexual abuses are all forms of dehumanization and objectification abuse.

TIP – Never show your abuser that you are afraid of them. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable (ravenous; greedy). Do not succumb to blackmail. If things get rough - disengage, involve Law Enforcement Officers, friends, and colleagues, or threaten them (legally; sue). Do NOT keep the abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon (that’s why they want to isolate you). Never give them a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.

**NOTE: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TURN IN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS**

Domestic violence is not just a secular issue, there are many Christian wives, and husbands, who are also being tormented by an abusive husband, or wife. These series of seminars are designed to help domestic violence victims obtain wholeness from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. This training will also prepare Christian ministers, counselors, and other Christian workers to provide healing to the domestic violence victim.

Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD is the founder of Abused Woman Ministries Inc. She will be teaching several courses on domestic violence and recovery.  To contact Dr. Hooks, email her at [e-mail], or go to her website,  www.abusedwoman.org.

The subjects that are covered in the “Journey of Freedom” Program are, “The Importance of Forgiveness;” “Violence and Abuse Recovery;” “Anger Management Recovery;” “Emotional Healing;” and “Unholy Matrimony Healing for the Abused Woman Book Group.”

Minister Everett James, Th.D., is the Director of Eastern Missouri Bible College, formerly known as the Good Samaritan Bible Institute, which is the educational arm of Upper Room Ministries STL and is located in Saint Louis, Missouri. To contact Minister James, email him at [e-mail] or visit his website at Eastern Missouri Bible College.

PDF Handout for Session 3-Part 3C Study Notes (click below):

"Violence & Abuse" S3 P3C - 10-26-2020/11-28-2022

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Click here for PDF version of "Live Session 11-28-2022" Summary Notes

Click here for PDF version of "Violence & Abuse" Program Outline

Click here for a FREE copy of my book, "Unholy Matrimony: Healing F...

Next week’s Topic (Session 3, Part 3D 11-2-2020/12-5-2022): “Strategies for breaking the Cycle of Abuse” & “Categories of Abuse” (continued).

God's BLESSINGS to you all and your families!! NEVER forget, God is with you, God is for you, and God got you!!

In Christ,

Rev. Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks, PsyD